The fact that the constant stress at work for a long time does not surprise anyone, and the term “stress tolerance”, which is so often found in job ads and summaries, has become commonplace. Why have we hang out at the entrance of the box, a warning that the work is necessary under stress? After all, if you’re not an employee MOE, crisis manager and running a startup that compose on the fly, stress, of course, may be, but rather as an exception. Then what we should inform the employer a request for stress-resistant employees? The fact that the company did not prostroen business processes, and thus any further action requires a lot of unnecessary movements? Or that in the company’s corporate culture is weak, and there is no respect and minimal concern for the employees? Or that you will get superior-tyrant?

But then why are we so willing to agree to work in a very nervous atmosphere, in an atmosphere of chronic stress? The answer to this question is not so easy, because the causes can be many: and our personal features (type of nervous system, temperament, character), and learned in childhood behaviors and attitudes derived from previous generations of our family, and the individual experience of passage crisis and traumatic situations. And that’s not all. Let’s look at a first approximation, the origin of the idea that work should necessarily be fraught with stress, what are the mechanisms of transmission of this idea, and whether this is something to do.

Five-Year Plan in three years

Remember that the words you, your family, friends and colleagues are using, discussing problems at work? Often we say that we have to “plow”, “grub”, “graft”, “toil”, and if there is a slave, that they are “working under the lash” or “Vanka fooling.” You feel a breath of archaic? Our language accurately reflects the attitude to work and its meaning, rooted in the collective unconscious is still in the pre-industrial era.

Try searching antonyms-expression. You can certainly say that “work is a pleasure,” but these phrases do not carry a strong emotional charge. You have to use borrowings, for example, the expression “high and drive to work.” Working for yourself with a free schedule – “freelance” and get away from work is possible only with the help of “Downshifting” or being a “rentier”.

In this long-standing historical heritage imposes the following layer, almost silent, to break through the fragments of family histories, but has a tremendous impact on our relationship with the work so far. This is the reverse side of the labor feats of the Great Patriotic War and in the years since confiscation of the passports of the rural population, creation of sensitive sites and entire cities, the introduction of articles for “parasitism”. I remember the stories my grandparents found the war children, about how they were going after school to help the factories where their mother disappeared, day and night, and in the summer worked on field work. And the following years they often remembered through the prism of their work and to a lesser extent – domestic, everyday moments. Many of this generation, lived to a ripe old age, and have not retired, but continued to work and work until the end.

In the modern history of Russia also emerged mass of the prerequisites to ensure that the work was loaded with additional meanings. Those who found the collapse of the Soviet Union and the restructuring of working age, faced with the need to earn money in ways often not associated with the available professions: scientists, staff officers, officials closed down bureaus, research institutes, design institutes went to unload the cars traded in markets, washed floors. This time hiding nevygovorennyh many personal tragedies and endless anxiety, which is now brought to their therapy sessions grown up children.

Office neurosis

These days do not give “just work” economic crises, and even if we did not have to lose the work itself, the environment certainly anyone faced with this. It turns out that the most common work as matryoshka, hides in itself: fear of job loss and uncertainty; “Norm”, that work has to be hard, and it is necessary to give all of himself; feat and coercion. And it turns out that the work is simply no chance of being employed with clear, adequate and workable criteria and conditions, with the pleasure of the work undertaken and achieved. Even if on formal grounds it is, there is an internal contradiction, and we create in the workplace drama with endless stress to meet the cultural code.
I distinctly saw it from my own experience when deciding to change profession, left the office and went to study again. Prior to this busy schedule, processing and job stress were perceived as a matter of course. After the dismissal, without having to get up every day in the morning alarm clock and run to work, allowing himself in the midst of everyday life just for a walk, I not only enjoyed freedom, but often found herself feeling guilty. “How is it that all the work, and I’ve been slacking!”. Many worried about whether I can provide for themselves, and how it all to do when there is no usual monthly payroll.

“Janitor will!”

Here you can already clearly see the “family message” as one of the mechanisms for the transfer of accumulated experience of generations. Each of us has his own list of such messages, some of which can be directly related to the work, part of a general dolzhenstvovatelny or prohibitive:

(Do not be. Very broad category of messages. There may be direct orders to be like any family member or someone from the entourage, who “worked hard and achieved so much in life.” Or negative example of some inveterate drunkard uncle, which is fired from anywhere. And now, the work takes on Life-sustaining features.

It can be a call to “be a good / necks”, which means obedience and often lack an opinion. This message is often complemented by the imperative “obey your elders.” And then when superiors, and often at ravnostatusnyh colleagues, older age, there is a strange numbness and helplessness. And there may be a direct reference to the choice of profession, especially if she devoted herself for several generations of a family.

(Do not) do. There is also plenty of room for imagination. “It is not to make a lesson, do not go for a walk / will not watch TV, play, etc.” – and we’re sitting at work until everything is undone, or worse, going on vacation, many more days are concerned, everything is done so, so you do not got (and this is also the children’s repertoire).

It may be prohibited to make mistakes, and then we check many times the same report, slyvya perfectionists among colleagues.

(Do not think. “For you everything is invented”, “I know better”, “reason enough” – it is not hard to guess that there is suffering, our ability to think straight and analyze the information received and to plan their own activities rather than to rush immediately to carry out the order came. “Think before you speak” – and here we are thinking endlessly, but are not able to open his mouth to offer his vision of the labor question.

There are messages that, seemingly long to become a joke: “If you will not learn / work, you will become a janitor.” But no, the modified variation of this masterpiece and is now actively used for educational purposes.

Just a single line: the chief – a fertile ground for the projection of parental figures on it, so anything that comes from the head and give us something to remind the messages learned in childhood, repeatedly enhanced our internal echo.

change the script

What to do with all this? First, remember that being under stress, we tend to act on previously acquired and internalized patterns of behavior. And then one stress pulls on the next chain. For information on how to restore the balance in the current situation, we talked in a previous article . And what can be done to stop you from attitudes about work in the long term?

Perhaps while reading this article you have any thoughts of your own family messages and stories that could affect your attitude to work and work stress. After analyzing these facilities in a relaxed atmosphere, you are sure to find a few typical situations that trigger your stress flywheel. If possible, ask the older generation of the family in detail about where and how they work, how to relate to this work, which like the fact that there is no way they coped with it. Surely you will find parallels or outright opposition, which are kontrstsenariem, but also tightly intertwined with family history.

Later, faced on the job stress and learning in them echoes of the family and attitudes, we can take a break of a few breaths and say to myself, “This is my child script, I know him, I am now an adult (the first), and I can find another way actions”. Look own formulation of this idea, which will give you the internal resolution than usual, and an adequate response situation. I can honestly say that it will work in all cases: a part of trigger situations simply not be able to keep track of their own, as they are well camouflaged, and our defenses are on guard of family loyalty and the unwritten social and cultural rules.

And then the question is, do something about something more or not, there will be your personal decision and responsibility area. After all the stress at work can have some, albeit dubious merit. If the stress – the norm for your workforce, its presence serves as a kind of identification mark for colleagues – “you are in the same boat”, which means you get their support. Discussion of the working stresses may well take some time with friends and home. So before you find out and get rid of stress at work, it is good to imagine what will happen to free up space, and to prepare the ground for this.