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Since then, as the children began to be born by Caesarean section, debate continues – different if born this way the children of those that were born naturally, and how different (if different) love and mother relationship to this child.

Perinatal psychologist Stanislav Grof, who has studied the state of the psyche of the child during childbirth and after, highlighted several matrices corresponding to four stages in child labor. Depending on how the baby is born passes a particular stage of labor, according to Grof, is laid and is denoted by the child’s behavior in his adult life.

For example, the behavior during labor, when the place in which the child calm was before, begins to contract and push it, and the yield is not open, can predict a person’s response as an adult to change the situation around: someone is grouped and begins to search for an exit and someone is struggling to return to the old stability and does not wish to accept the changes. So what would happen if certain steps are skipped birth child during surgery? Grof believes that caesarean section, premature birth – a great stress for the child, which then have a negative impact on the psyche and the child’s physiology.

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But if all the provisions of the matrices are largely conjecture, though some have received confirmation, the state of women during vaginal delivery and caesarean section were studied more thoroughly. The people are of the opinion that the one that did not pass the birth pangs – the fight, and then the period of attempts – can not love your child fully and selflessly. Is it so?

Medical studies clearly point out: for vaginal birth in women active in those parts of the brain that are responsible for the formation of empathy. When cesarean same activation of these brain regions is significantly reduced. Michel Odent, perhaps the most famous obstetrician present, researcher and advocate of natural childbirth, believes that caesarean can significantly disrupt the formation of the maternal behavior of the woman, her attachment to the child.
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Lyudmila Petranovskaya in his book “The Secret support. The attachment in the child’s life, “says:” It is equally important in the first few hours after birth, the baby tactile contact with the mother, and not only for him but also for her. After all, the body and the psyche of mother nature is also sharpened to ensure that care for the child. Her breasts filled with milk, and if you do not attach to it a child, swollen and sore. She stretched and bleeding after childbirth the uterus contracts and quicker healing in response to the suckling infant.

Mothers need to hear the baby breathing, feel his skin, smell, kiss, it is a pleasure and brings calm. If a child is separated from his mother, she is restless, it does not find a place, it suffers disturbing fantasy that something would happen to him, that it is stolen, the submenu that he gets sick, dies. She wants to be with him all her thoughts and feelings – the child, she wakes up quite easily to his call, even if tired childbirth.

There is even a hypothesis that such heavy mental disorder as postpartum depression, associated with the practice of newborn separation from the mother after delivery for the rest of women, or for health care to the child. If the mother is deprived of the opportunity to hold the baby at the breast, to look at him, inhaling his scent, deep, instinctive layers of her psyche interpret this as the death of the baby. You gave birth, but it is not – hence, the child died. ”

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Yes, doctors and psychologists believe that birth by Caesarean section and subsequent separation of mother and baby are not the best way affect the formation of attachment. But do not give up on yourself as a mother, just because childbirth is something goes wrong (and it was an emergency caesarean) or doctors appointed mom surgery for medical reasons (elective caesarean). Childbirth – is just one step on the long path of the joint mother and child and what did not work on it, it will be possible to fill in the following.
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One of the major hormone involved in labor, – oxytocin. It is produced in a natural way and starts the process of childbirth. That is why Michel Odent against drips with artificial oxytocin without evidence – organisms woman and child should work on the birth process itself, support and stimulation from the outside are not necessary and even harmful. Then, after birth, oxytocin is released at applying the infant to her breast, causing uterine contractions and establishing the restoration of the woman’s body after childbirth. And all the same oxytocin causes a feeling of satisfaction, reduce anxiety and sense of tranquility.

But if it is not next to the mother of the child, triggering the chemical process, the recovery will be longer and more difficult. This means that not only the newborn and helpless infant needs mother, but he told her – to help her to come to his senses, to avoid any feelings of isolation and depression in mothers. This will help to co-sleeping, the maximum closeness with the child, breastfeeding, frequent tactile contact.

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For moms who passed through caesarean, all complicated by the fact that it is abdominal surgery, all carry it in different ways: some easier, some harder. But even those who suffer relatively easy to remember the first time you try to stand up after the bed, only moving away from the anesthesia, as well as the first attempt to take a shower / get dressed, eat. Now imagine, if still a child in his arms!

After an emergency cesarean section (and it was not until I had 16 hours of hellish labor) showed me a glimpse of the child (touched foot to the face) and took 12 hours. I remained lying on the operating table in the semi-delirium, even under local anesthesia, but still almost not realizing anything. Then there were a few hours in the emergency room, I remember bad night in the House, I do not remember at all, and now, at 6 am, the long-awaited meeting.
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The first thing I felt when I saw the last face of the baby – guilt. For what did not happen to have a “right” for a fact that she had spent the first night of “outside” in a plastic gurney in the pediatric ward, because it fed a mixture, maybe she cried and no one came to her. I wanted to take it away immediately and do not give doctors, but complicated by blood transfusion to me, it is impossible to keep the child in his arms, as I myself could not even stand, and daughter weighing 4 kg (again greetings to the children’s department!).

No breastfeeding from birth, we also did not work because of the antibiotics that dripped me, so – mixture, breast, wake up at night on an alarm clock. Guilt, frustration, tears, mood swings, disappointing forecasts for me in terms of health and physical support from native (we have spent more than a week in the hospital) – that’s the main thing that I remember from that period.

It’s absolutely not correspond to the picture that has emerged in me even in pregnancy: just given birth, otmuchilsya I cuddle happily snuffling baby, I have no pain and I am overwhelmed with euphoria. In life, it was through the pain, fear, despair. And when my friend wrote congratulations and cautiously asked about the attitude to the child in the light of the Caesarean, I first began to think about it is this: what I feel for her daughter?

Apart from changing diapers, feeding, carrying in her arms, and other undoubted attributes of love, expressed through action, no waves, knocks down, overflowing, it was not. But the amazing thing – with our every day spent together, a sense of love and affection, even quite frail, clog painful complications, hospital realities, grew slowly and gradually grasped my mind, as soon as there went the pain from surgery and despair from what it happened just that – a cesarean scar, complications, pain.

After returning home to me periodically attacked despair, to find the very warm feeling enthusiastic heart became much more difficult. But here is the nature decreed wisely – growing up a child is sleeping less, starts gulit, smile, clearly distinguishes the mother’s face, and only these things is impossible not to react.

Well, the body is slowly recovering, so I tried as close as possible to be a child – we still have established breastfeeding, extortion categorical bans doctors, slept together, and daughter supported me in my endeavors, completely abandoning the stroller and recognizing only long walks in a sling . Now, after a year and a half, I’m sure – if then everything went differently, childbirth would be quick and easy, feeling her daughter would have me always. I would not like it is now less or more, stronger or weaker.

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