But let us return to our sheep. The question arises, what to do with this assembly of the saints? Those who poorly understand themselves and their true needs, is not, where are the boundaries? To those who consider themselves entitled to come and tell Boris that he is wrong? I can describe a couple of important points that will be useful as a survival manual.
We all have our own space. It may be half the room, a room, a house or a page in a social network. In a space you can do anything you want, within the code of criminal offenses. Want – Sergey Lazarev on all the walls to sculpt, you want – a house of blankets to build. You do not call anybody more like the future participant of Eurovision or practice in 3d-modeling of soft materials. Also, you can walk there in anything, competing in a vociferous Netrebko is in splendid isolation Cake “Pancho.”
If it comes to you girlfriend, sit quietly in the house and says that she loves only evergreen Pugachev, it will have every right to do. However, if guests require to change the posters on Alla Borisovna in the latest weight loss or night active vspomyanet Marie Condo with garbage bags for blankets, it will be a violation of your personal boundaries. And now you have every right to, or to expose the raging queen of the door and stop further communication with it, or, depending on the degree buynosti, keep the defense and not to enter into a dialogue. In fact, the better you know, the more room for maneuver and complexities, but this requires a separate discussion.
Account on a social network is not very different from the real contacts: you can go to the page, to get acquainted with your opinion about annexations and indemnities, as well as to express their attitude in a couple dozen comments. Then go ahead. However, if the heart of the reader were not satisfied, and he accepted the buzz in your area, then it is materialized crown. By the Office also includes unsolicited advice, familiarity, a critical assessment of your actions or appearance, the depreciation of experiences, the proposal to change or remove the writing, if it is unpleasant to the reader. All this – aggression, often implicit, and sometimes it can be determined only by bodily discomfort.
In general, if you come to visit, and you do not like it, you can close your eyes or leave. However, most of the crowned heads want to have such an impact on the host, so that he listened to the importance of his guest, adapted by him space, rearrange the furniture and baked pie. A big plus of virtual reality is that you can not be interested in feedback, and the guest will not be able to scream in your ear. This position keeps a large number of nerve cells, but does not fit all.
In order to protect their borders from attack – block or hold a dialogue with a very important person, require energy, read – reciprocal aggression. Such counter can be very difficult for non-aggressive by nature people, because “people simply expressed his opinion” and “he wants the good.” For resistance and protection from the destructive power of the poisonous words need to allow yourself to anger, and for so many angry, even when you’re stopped at the crown in the eye, it is not so simple. It turns education, and poison gets inside. But when you allow visitors in your home or your page, it means a big risk that there may napachkat. And, then, will have to clean up.
Very, very much a prospect stops, even if there is a great desire to be open to the world. However, the openness has another side: the world is made up of different people, and not just aggressive. And your very important needs – satisfied. This alone is able to reconcile with non-ideal social institutions and coerce remove cherished crown on the mezzanine. I, for one, is already halfway there.