On the difficulties of choice by young people way of life, knocks his temptations, deep foundations of success in life, the secret of a happy family life, we talked to historian Sergei Vyacheslavovich Perevezentseva .
Sergey V. Perevesentsev – Russian historian and philosopher, writer, doctor of historical sciences, dean of the Russian Orthodox University of History and Philology, Professor, Department of Political Science, Moscow State University. MV Lomonosov Moscow State University, co-chairman of the Board of the Union of Writers of Russia, winner of several literary awards .
Sergey V., recently in a popular Russian translation of the book publishing went Meg Jay “Important Years”, which touched upon the decades from 20 to 30 years, which the author considers decisive for the destiny of man. According to Jay, the investments made in its own development in this period of life, bring the maximum return in the future and therefore it is very important not to lose this time. What are the goals and objectives in this age, you would call the principal?
First and most importantly – do not be afraid to work. Many and intense work, to take on any task that stands in front of you, even if you did had never done before. Be sure to improve, work to expand their knowledge and capabilities.
At this age – despite the fact that I already had a family, a small child, I had plenty of household chores – I was able to on the weekends all day sitting in the library at night – the house of the typewriter (computers did not yet exist), and for the working week to run on a variety of work to provide for his family. Often he worked 17, 18, sometimes 20 hours a day. Of course, my family supported me, understand my aspirations and goals, it is thanks to them that I am on Saturdays and Sundays at the library could be prepared to pass candidate minimums and write a thesis. But as I have always thought of himself as the main breadwinner in the family, and never with this responsibility is not removed, in addition to creative activities, while working several jobs. And such a schedule has become the norm, so I started in the late 80’s to work simultaneously in different areas on different, as they say, projects, so still and continue.
Often, I did some things on the famous principle: “First vvyazhemsya, but we’ll see.” I must say, this principle works, A Little Bit of Heaven – and everything will come.
For example, people want to be creative, but is afraid that will not be able to earn money in this profession in the next ten years. How do you decide for yourself the problem in his youth?
You know, even in advanced age, the person will still be facing the problem. He will have to choose between making money or doing something for their own development, to promote the ideas that are important to him. So it is a constant need to make a choice – it is inherent in life condition.
From my point of view, to make the right choice – it does not mean to choose the best of the available options. The main thing – to be able to abandon the worst.
Let me explain: the worst – it is, first, what prevents you to realize their ideas, their potential to be realized as a creative person, and, secondly, that does not match your understanding of morality, contrary to your social and spiritual goals. The “worst” can be very attractive, even seductive.
Again, bring your own example: when I was about 30 years, at the turn of 80 and 90-ies, during the restructuring and the change of political regime, I have repeatedly offered to take various bureaucratic positions, with high enough, or go to the deputies. I refused from everything because I was never attracted this, I was not interested, it was the “worst thing” for me, although it is very advantageous in a material respect. In the 90 years I have repeatedly offered to engage in different types of business, but I also always refused to from this, because it’s not mine. But all my life I have studied science, intellectual activity. In 1990, when it seemed that it was no use to anyone, he defended his thesis. Doctoral defended in 1999, and again told me: “Yes, who needs it!”. But all these years, I also worked at various jobs, earning money for the family. And on the creative activities were only the night – at night and writing, and to a certain point, not only scientific articles and books, but also stories and novels.
As a result, I think that as a creative person, I quite place. Over the last 20-25 years in my world there are so many changes, and the dramatic, and many of the ideas that came to me during my inner growth, I was able to realize and express – including books, in articles, in their teaching. And, strange as it seems, even to myself, my ideas, books, lectures in demand and interesting to others.
Why am I saying this? Choice – when on one side of the scale is something very tempting, but on the other – a funny thing, but really inviting you – very difficult. And each person is doing it himself. I can not judge the choices for a person better. But his experience and that of my friends, I realized one thing: it is very often necessary to be able to resist the temptation.
Choosing should always, first, focus on the moral, social and spiritual goals, and, secondly, to choose what you really calling ahead, what you really see the prospect of his personal development. One of the highest goals for me has always been the idea of serving the Fatherland. In what field you can bring the greatest benefit of the Fatherland? This question was never personally for me, something empty, unnecessary. On the contrary, I very soon began to feel like a Russian man who can do something for his people and his country. As the saying goes, “much as I can …”
Already quite conscious age I began to feel not only Russian, but also Orthodox man associated with his native land, native history in addition to historical and linguistic and even spiritual ties. Accordingly, the traditional Orthodox values have also become decisive for me.
All of these values – not of a material nature, moreover, linked to the need to serve, what we do not like many today. But what is interesting: when you’re doing a really fair choice, a matter of conscience, it is always rewarded, including getting better and the material side of life. The Lord is all-seeing.
It is interesting that those who left the science in the 90s, then it did not come back …
This is natural, because it is impossible to leave the science and come back in 20 years, because in science occur huge shifts accumulate a vast array of new material, which you do not have time to master for 20 years.
But many come back in a different capacity – for example, the benefactors. They understand that once something important in their lives lost, and now are ready to help other talented people do not get lost in a scientific field. I can not judge what they are feeling at the same time – it is possible that they are happy, because they have the opportunity to help a large number of people.
Another issue that many people are capable of doing at some point opt for material wealth, lost in my life as a person, and, just as creative individuals – their abilities are realized. Is it good or bad for these people, I can not judge. But, unfortunately, I have examples of my friends, some of them at one time pursued “millions of light” and a tragically ended their lives. However, there are examples and descended alcoholics or geniuses … Still life there are no simple answers to complex questions …
Sergey V., we are all talking about the work, but life is still limited not only to her, a man has also a family. You have more than 30 years living in a happy marriage, that does not happen so often in these times. What is the main secret of a happy family? How do you manage to reconcile family life and work?
This, of course, the eternal question of mankind. And, too, it belongs to the category of complex. I can only share my personal experience …
The family first and foremost – this is love. But the question is, what is meant by love. love is often thought of love as desire, as a violent, endless passion. And when the passion has faded, gone attraction – bye, love, run away. And love – is quite another, an endless work on yourself for a loved one.
What is it expressed?
And in all things. He got up from the table – wash the dishes. The wife came home tired – do not be lazy, bring her slippers, cook dinner together and watered her tea. Once again bring flowers. Once again go to the store. Take out the trash. Take on any additional responsibilities at home. Elementary things, but all of these details and consists of them and formed a family.
The fact that the family – this is not a union of two people connected in a passionate kiss, as in the famous sculpture by Rodin. No family rests on the passion. Yes, the passion between two loving people is necessary, but it is temporary, it flashes like fireworks, rastsvechivaya decorating family life. However, family life itself – is, first of all, a conscious willingness to make a commitment, a conscious willingness to work hard for the sake of a loved one, a conscious desire to care for a loved one. And then say to him: “And let me make myself better, and you get some rest.” These things, once again, from the area of everyday life: drink tea, cook dinner, bring a blanket.
And that’s enough?
This is the foundation. When there is a feeling when you realize that it is the person with whom you want to live life, then you start to make an effort to be well.
Does not the family turns into a routine in such a case?
Of course not, because when two loving people care about each other, are born completely different expression and passion, and love – forgiveness and tenderness … And if the family is able to forgive each other, if a family has a soft, while the family was held.
It seems to be so simple. Why in our country so many divorces?
Because we have no one wants to take on responsibilities. The main enemies of the family – laziness and selfishness. Many people believe that marriage – is, first of all, legitimized the possibility of intimate relations, and, secondly, the possibility that the other person will serve you. That is, if you get your wife, it means that it will be you cook and clean for you, wash. And if you’ve got a husband, it means that he will will contain, provide, and so on. When people start to each other to make a complaint: “But you …”, it means that the basis is not love but selfishness. Love – is the desire to give yourself to your loved one, and, importantly, a mutual desire. But this feeling of two people loving each must maintain a constant and in the name of saving it constantly work on yourself. It was on him, and not on others, do not need to alter another, and himself.
The appearance of children in the family in this case becomes a challenge?
Children – is absolute happiness. The problem, they become again if their parents do not want to work on the education of their children because of their own laziness or selfishness.
Like it or not, love and work – it really is the foundation of human life, everywhere – in the family, in the work, in the work. Remember the main standard of the covenant of St. Sergius of Radonezh: people must constantly work spiritually and physically for the love of God and one’s neighbor. St. Sergius himself until his last days, every hour was in the works, and love, and we also instructs. And it’s absolutely true. That is because the mystery: in his life, it would seem, nothing is absolute, everything is relative, temporary, but the love and work, whether you like it or not – this is an absolute value, an absolute necessity. Love, labor of love – and the rest is sure to follow.
Interviewed by Anastasia Hramuticheva