1

The idea of these letters was born, when I learned that she was pregnant. Home pregnancy was very difficult – the constant threat of miscarriage. I’ve been lying in the hospital and was in some sort of tremulous hope in God’s mercy, which is only one and can help save a child. There were moments when a child’s life hung in the balance, and my soul, on the one hand, constantly cried out to God for help, and on the other – did not dare to hope for the best.

Then I began to talk with the baby almost constantly, hoping it would calm him down, and the queen will not come to such a strong tone. After the partially recorded their conversations. Most of these messages has been written in the hospital. Thank God, a miracle baby was born healthy, but weight was strong shortfall, but then we made up for it quickly. At Trinity Lesha was two years old. He was the fifth child in our family. Offering to the publication of these letters, I hope that they will support those women who are preparing for motherhood.

Author: mother Lyudmila Kedys

The first letter

Hello, my dear child!

Today I learned of your existence. The strange and indescribable feeling! I’m not quite myself. In me is born something new and unknown. It’s mine, and at the same time is not mine. This new life as a microcosm and macrocosm simultaneously. So this wee creature with a mind and just immensely, immensely and inexplicably inside. The sense of awe, reverence does not leave me. It is finished, there are constantly committed some inexplicable mystery to which I was involved. What is happening in me, it would seem, to some extent, depend on me, but mostly it is quite independent of my processes. And I – only the keeper of the treasures that God has put in me.

My dear baby! Do not be afraid, I am always with you! You it’s dark, and probably a little scared, but soon you will master and understand that you are in complete safety. You will constantly hear the beating of my heart – hear it in my love. Hear to the beat of my heart the music of joy, warmth, light, comfort, affection and my boundless devotion to you. You will hear my voice, and soon it will be for you the most expensive, recognizable and desirable sound. The first sound out of this world, which will always warm your heart with tenderness and warmth of my love for you that one “never fails.”

I will every morning to greet you and wish you every night of restful sleep, I’ll tell you a fairy tale, to sing lullabies. And you will hear from my lips the words of the prayers and chants, sung in the Temple. Your little heart is pounding to the beat of my heart and learn to pray with me. Do you feel that this singing – and the most beautiful of all the mellifluous sounds that can be heard on the ground. And the memory of this imprinted in your heart forever. When you come into this world, you will never be lonely and scary because the lamp that zateplilas in your heart is still in the womb, is always lit, warming the soul. It is only necessary to keep it light, not only to get good and love, but also learning to give more and always remember God’s mercy. But you certainly get it, because I’m always there, I will pray for you, and Mother of all Christians, Holy Mother of God will protect you from all evil his grace the cover. I believe in it.

Do not worry, baby, the world is beautiful, if God lives in the heart. And you’re sure to see it and understand. But somehow I think that there, in the womb, you are more of us, earthlings know about God. Of course, you can not read and do not read even a single book, but the knowledge that you have hidden in your heart still so small. You just feel the breath of God, the touch of His infinite love. Maybe you think sometimes that the Lord lulls you into His hands, and you hear the sound of a spiritual world that is on us, stale, alas, closed.

I promise you that I will do everything to make you feel comfortable, happily, peacefully – just always good.

Good night, my dear little bird! Sweet dreams to you!

the second letter

Hello, my dear baby! Let’s talk with you! I’m beginning not very good feel – suffers from nausea, quickly get tired, I feel weak at times. I know, you remind me of it, now I’m not alone, is enough to think only about themselves – now I have a very important concern, which I have no right to forget. Do not worry, dear, I suffer, if only you there was good and just enough for development. I really hope and pray constantly to God about it, that He, in His great mercy, allowed me to save me undeservedly bestowed treasure and present it to the world for the glory of the majesty of God.

I often talk to the Mother of God with faith and veneration. After all, she was also the mother! She, like millions of women, carried in the womb of the Child. Certainly, just going through, trying to take care of him, gently talk to him, she sang him lullabies. It also froze thrilled, catching the sound of his heart – so small and such a great time. And when The baby for the first time began to move – I cried for joy and thanked God. Often, feeling his leg or a pen, perhaps, she thought about what would happen to him when he comes into this world full of sin and unrighteousness. I thought about how tired his legs are in the way, when from village to village It is going to preach about the kingdom of heaven as his calloused hands of carpentry labor, he will break bread. He is a carpenter, this she knew, because his adoptive father – a carpenter, and he will teach his son a trade.

Many people think about Mother stroking under its belly babe. Only one She thought then, and could not know about it. The fact that His hands and feet will be pierced with thick nails, and His lifeless body, which she so carefully cared for before his birth, will be hanging on the infamous Cross. And she would look at such a shame its innocent and sinless Son can do nothing for him, only to crucify my heart with him and give him all my love and infinite devotion.

But it is very good that the Virgin Mary did not know about it and does not suffer from these thoughts when the baby only want peace, heat, light, purity of heart and holiness of thoughts. It gave it to him in abundance. And I think, little Jesus was the happiest kid, because he lived, grew and developed in an atmosphere of such love, purity, holiness, who blessed cloak sheltered him from all evil in this world … Until the time … After all, he came to heal our sores , to bear our sorrows, and gave their lives to save us from the terrible bondage of sin and death that we are unhappy, often not aware of, so it bogged down.

But you, my good, do not worry! Christ is risen! And now nothing to fear. The gates opened, the Kingdom of God for us and we are waiting on the threshold of the Lord. We would not only turn from the right path, but it needs to be with him as navigator Cross of Christ and the Holy Gospel. Do not forget about it, kid. But I will always be there and, if necessary, prompt you recall. You just please trust me always the same as trust now, as you trust the first years of his life.

Good night, my angel! God bless you.

The third letter

Good morning, my dear angel! We are already quietly starting to get used to each other. I feel changes in your body, try not to worry, not to get tired, and pray more. Often I stroked her stomach. After all, you feel my hand? I feel my tenderness and warmth? For some reason I thought that when I put my hand on your stomach, you see my reflection in it and then you can sort of look into my eyes. After all, you really want to see my face in the present? Someday it will happen, believe me. And I’ll see your eyes! But I feel them now. When I close my eyes – I see you. In your eyes, so much wisdom, depth and purity. And your face is shrouded in peace and tranquility. The time will come and we’ll you’ll see in our world, and I’m sure, just know each other.

If you hear not just my voice, I know – the voice, too, you do not someone else’s. These are your most intimate and family: dad, brothers and sisters. You will not be alone in this world and will not be bored for sure. You are very lucky, because you already have two older brothers and two sisters. They are good, and you fall in love with them necessarily, I’m sure. Sometimes, of course, they are acting up and say a sharp word. But all of this is transitory, without intention, according to our human weakness, believe me. And in general – they are very kind, sympathetic, really help me. And when you show up, I’m sure, with emotion and joy will coddle you.

You’ll love it. You will recognize them by voice and scream with joy when they appear. Infants love to communicate with children just as if feeling a kindred spirit. When your sister Ksenia was quite small, with the appearance on the horizon older sister Veronichka she began actively waving arms and legs, he made enthusiastic eyes and squeaked with joy. You grow up a little more and, no doubt, at the sound of their voices, too, will be silently screaming there, inside, smiling and waving pens. We do not yet see, but be sure to feel! I think that soon we will read each other’s thoughts. For those who love does not need words, they understand each other, and so – a heart!

I believe that you are there, too, all know and feel. When I’m on the Liturgy, the soul dies from trembling, and heart and mouth praise God, I’m sure you feel the same feeling with me. And when I was with penitent heart, humbly bow before the Cup, taking a Nevmestimogo, I know you, too, take communion with me. And you and I become one with Christ, the Church! As it is surprising and incomprehensible!

When you come into our world and omoeshsya waters of Baptism to new life, you’re going to know the taste of the most sweet and heavenly food that makes us immortal – the Body and Blood of Christ. And the Lord will take you in my arms already as a person, the image of God, the most precious creation of God. And you say: “Hey, baby! We’re already familiar with, we have long been friends, do not lose our friendship! “It was only during the Communion of your immortal soul is in the eye to see Christ and smiles at him.

When the great Russian saint St. Sergius of Radonezh was more like you in the womb, she prayed a lot and attended worship services, often receive communion. Then one day, during Mass, after Holy Communion, everyone in the church to hear the voice of the child from his mother’s womb, loudly praising God. This is an incredible miracle has said that in this pious woman Lord settled his special creation – the future of the great saint. It seems to me that all the babies of pregnant mothers praying in the temple at the Liturgy and partake of the Holy Gifts, certainly with the glory of God. Let silently, silently and invisibly to us – but it’s definitely happening. Who, if not this pure, angelic souls glorify the greatness and mercy of God still quite dispassionately and sincerely ?!

You know, my dear, what a great blessing and mercy of God, that you have the opportunity from the very first moment of your life, even there, in the womb, to be in communion with God, limping to the pure spring of His grace, which He gives us in the Church . After all, how many children are deprived of it, and had not yet been born, they suffer from fear and loneliness. We are with you are not alone – God is with us! Thank you, Lord, for it! And mercy, enlighten, save all those who are still outside of your Light.

Good night, my dear miracle! Thank God for everything!

fourth Letter

Hello, my dear malyshonok! Today, I saw you on the screen ultrasound system, see how you move, and heard the sound of your heart! This happiness is beyond words! I even gave your first photograph, can you imagine! Of course, while on it I can not see what your nose, what shape your ears pricked and plump lips, look you in the eye. But I see your shape, feel your life – and it fills me with joy and gratitude to God is merciful.

We live on the fourth floor. From the kitchen window with a beautiful view of the park, next to which is a school stadium with a playground. But the most important thing – in this window a lot of sky. I love looking at the sky for a long time. It would seem, in all ages, it is always, but at the same time, it is changing every minute. The sky can be compared over time. It also fleeting as clouds change, a series of sunrises and sunsets. But if you could see what we have wonderful sunsets. They are so much colors, images, moods. No artist will not be able to fully transfer this beauty on his canvas. Because of these masterpieces only one unbeaten Author – our Creator. Someday you will definitely see and appreciate this beauty.

I still have much to tell you, so that you could feel the love of God, he gave us this wonderful world. How in this case should be Gornji Jerusalem, if our earthly world is so royally majestic and rich in beauty!

Now go to sleep, my dear, it’s too late. God be with you!

Letter fifth

Hello, my dear baby!

Today I was really scared! I was afraid to lose you. The pain that shot through the body, dug into my heart. For a moment I even felt a void. I wanted to shout, “No, do not believe it!”. As for the last chance, he clutched at a straw fragile prayer: “Lord, help me, have mercy, do not leave!” Every heart beat – is a cry to God. Seventy per minute – seventy plaintive requests to the sky … Why we do not know how to pray constantly, why that prayer was a fiery, daring and heart, we need some great grief, a strong shock?

Thank God! God took pity on us! Are you with me! Nothing bad will happen! How do you want now as fervently pripadat to God with words of gratitude. Learn to be grateful to us for real!

At such moments, you realize more than ever: what is bliss – to live under the cover of the grace of God. When you’re surrounded by so many helpers, assistants, empathize, ready at any time to substitute his shoulder – just friends in Heaven! O Lord, glory to Thee! Holy Mother of God, thank You! All the saints, a low bow to you!

My little joy! Now I’m even more care and attention will refer to in order to protect you. And you too, please, hold on, be a good girl, do not worry and do not worry. About all the Lord will take care … Sleep well!

Letter to the 6th

Hello, my little bird!

How are you there? Let me know that you are fine! Lead in a telegram to my heart with joy, that I was calm and easy.

In our world, too many sorrows. Suffer, unfortunately, little innocent children. It hurts so much … the Lord for his love can wipe away any tears, but how many people in the world have turned away from Him and do not want to turn to Him for help. The poor, deluded people. Save, O Lord, and preserve all the mourners and become discouraged in this world … I was in the hospital and saw a lot of pain and despair. So I would like to share with all his treasure! Say all: “My dear! Christ is risen! He loves us! Gates of the Kingdom of God are opened, and the Lord of all our employees for the feast! “But many remain deaf. They hear the word, but pochemu-to to them these words – like autumn leaves falling to die on the dried ground … Maybe not enough of sorrows fell to their share, little they watered the land of my heart tears, so it has dried up … Oh, what suffering need some people to sleep with their eyes blurred, and they heard: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock …”.

My dear baby, you do not know what the wind. When a prophet of the Lord compared with a quiet breath of wind. Yes, God’s grace is this – thin, light, like a silent breeze that God breathed into your heart. But the wind is and others. He is playful and menacing, refreshing and destructive. Today was blowing very strong wind. The grass bent to the ground, and hovered like waves of the sea. Trees rustled anxiously waving bare branches. Not a single leaf was left of their once rich crowns. And leaves raised off the ground, suddenly rose high into the sky, as if in a last effort to cover his eyes the whole world. Clouds in the sky like a whirlwind carried away to far distances, changing, both on the accelerated viewing movies. Passers-by, if bowing in obeisance before the power of the elements, walking, stooping, hiding the face of the inevitable air slaps. And I, after spending all week locked up in the hospital, going into the street, with an indescribable bliss wind held up his face. And the wind is not iskhlestal my audacity, and enveloped already forgotten freshness, filled with life, heart beat youthfully cheerful, appeared easy, and his eyes flashed amusement.

All children love element. Whether it’s a strong wind, or rain, or snow. Adults will hide, to escape, to open umbrellas, and children – jumping and jumping for joy. Today I felt like such a child who, while adults do not see, playing catch-up with the elements …

Thank you, God, for everything! Is that you, my baby, help me back to my childhood, and just a little sip of clean air of innocence.

Sweet dreams to you, dear! God be with you!

Oh yes, I almost forgot! From today’s impressions on the memory you want from me here these lines …

***

Collected in the cloud harmonica.

Wind plays Liszt’s Nocturne us.

Upwards shot up the leaves down

Dance your comply with the accordion.

And, most recently completing a flight,

Quietly fall to the ground,

To the first snow priporoshit

Duma them who listens Eternity …

***

The sky through the hospital window

He looks at the suffering person.

Future to know we are not given,

Eternal from heaven shines upon us.

Having emerged as if from the shackles

Time Chamber, pain, body,

A cloud of words of repentance

Nudity is closing, the soul soared …

Once again the world a little orphaned,

Irrigated land tears someone …

Again, Christ suffering on the Cross,

To the door was open to eternity …

Letter to the 7th

My dear baby, hello!

I’m so used to constantly tell you that already feel this need. I want to share with you my thoughts and feelings. Maybe someone heard, would say that they are too old for you. But somehow I think you all understand and even send my thoughts in the right direction, give the necessary advice. So as we’re close now, we will not be more than anyone ever. Remember that time, and when you come to our world, grow up, will gain autonomy and independence – in the difficult moments do not forget that although the physical umbilical cord that bound you to her mother, was cut short at the dawn of your life, but a spiritual umbilical cord, we are connected with you forever . And on the Day of Judgment when we stand before God, and Christ look in our eyes, so I would like to say to Him, “Lord, here I am, and my children, whom thou hast given me, take us in Thy kingdom!”

Human life is complex and multifaceted, but also interesting and beautiful, if you manage it properly dispose. However, human life is very fleeting, baby. Only yesterday a man was born, the first time smiled, issued the first sounds, then took his first steps, said first words, and now he looks back on the years of life lived, and he did not believe that a film of his films end, and it is already necessary to draw the line. Childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age. In childhood and adolescence do not think about old age, because it seems infinitely far away, but life is infinitely long. At maturity, some fear about the future and try to prevent the aging changes in appearance, rejuvenation facilities, adolescent behavior, etc. All this is silly and ridiculous. Every age is beautiful in its own way, and gray hair is a sign of maturity as well as fun games – a sign of childhood and love – a sign of youth.

Interestingly, in nature, we can observe a very similar thing. The first frosts – a gray hair in the grass. Yesterday they were still green, bright, fresh. Today, suddenly withered, drooped and covered with a silver cover. Look out the sun and its rays on the cover melts, but never again will no longer be fresh and bright colors in the strands fields and lawns. And the man face the same fate. He covers his head gray frost, and even at the barber’s hair repainted in some exotic color, and will not see a gray hair – it will still be shown. In the regrown hair, wrinkles around the eyes and on the forehead, in their own feelings, that the forces are not the same, do not have the energy, vigor and skill. It is not fast runs up to the fifth floor are already less gusts to violent activities, will be burdened noisy, cheerful company. And it would be good to take it, do not try to hide the approaching old age.

Old age is not terrible and not boring, if behind the person lived an interesting life filled with love that he always gave his friends, family, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. Such a person will meet your sunset surrounded by care and warmth, he will have something to share that will pass on to their children, and will always listen attentively and respectfully. And it’s not in the accumulation of material condition and spiritual wealth, which he managed to acquire during his long life.

My dear boy, you only have to open the first page of the book of life. This book will be a lot of pages, they shall be adorned with ornaments of faith, hope and love!

Keep your Lord and His Blessed Mother. Good night dear!

letters to eight

Malyshonok, hello!

You grow and grow with you my tummy. As it’s funny and touching! Everything in my body changed, rearranged, in order to make you feel comfortable and convenient. I hope so! And, believe me, I try to put this maximum effort. I changed my mode of life, work, power supply, so you do not feel pain, fatigue, sadness. So – be happy every moment that we spend with you together.

Only with you, we can talk, even without uttering a single word – in thoughts and feelings. I hope you feel it. I so want to continue with you, we perfectly understand each other and do not lose the thread of understanding and love!

Today, the first snow fell. Russian winter began. The whole earth was covered with white cloth, covered her flaws. People go out into the street and, as a child, smiling, enjoying the first snow. Winter is time especially loved children, because this time the snow fun, fun games, Christmas miracle waiting and New Year. The time when all of us again and again come back to childhood, coming to the den, where he was born Divine Infant Jesus, meek as wise men from the east, bringing him a gift of his heart.

***

Under a white plume in December

There were spots of gray everyday life,

Everything was simple and clear

And somehow all is not in vain.

Dancing light snowstorm

The sounds of the winter sonnet,

Lights joyful colors

Lit Christmas tree.

A lone star

I went for new magi …

Who mental generous gifts –

The path to God will find always.

The fire is not extinguished in the cave,

Infant Mother shakes her gently …

Here we come inevitably,

When it strikes the same hour.

Here we arrive, tired of the troubles,

Barbed lies and cold hell.

other gifts of Christ is not necessary –

Only a heart of amber.

Blizzard starts Kolyada,

The choir of angels singing pick up,

Stop for a moment at least –

Do not miss your star …

Letter ninth

Hello my Sunshine!

Like all the wonderful wisdom and perfectly arranged by God in our world! Soon you with your own eyes all that you see, hear, feel, and you will understand.

With the advent of spring all nature awakens, it awakens a new life, full of new energy, strength, beauty. Is not this the greatest miracle of the resurrection, God has given us to each year remind the Risen Christ, and that all of us, the hour will come, and restore from the ashes, will resurrect to eternal life! This will be the soul, clothed in a new body, a renewed, transfigured, incorruptible. How would like to be among those whose flesh outfit will shine purity and beauty of the “meek and humble of spirit!” .. But how much it needs to work hard, be patient, perhaps bewail, cry …

A person from it may seem that the life of some Christians who are suffering some kind of incredible suffering, sorrow, sickness, – simply unbearable and bleak! How is it possible to endure this ?! And while they still find somewhere to enjoy power and give his joy to others, to thank for quite minor, everyday, the familiar for healthy gifts … How is this possible? – With Christ all things are possible! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”!

The Lord said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls”, and again: “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”! These words are for two thousand years, millions of people read, but unfortunately, not everyone took them into his heart, and therefore live in suffering and agony on our miserable earth. And Christians – the blessed people! Remember this, my dear baby! If you live by faith, it is already here on earth will be able to experience the bliss of life in God. Drinking a fountain of living water, even in Christian suffering can feel the support, encouragement, consolation of God and the joy of life in Christ.

How I wish, my dear, that you came into our world, do not forget about this wonderful source of eternal life, which is poured out on us from the Holy Chalice, in the Blessed Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ.

Spring – a time of awakening, jubilation, joy “veliey”. With the first full-blown leaves already anticipating the imminent onset of Easter. Since childhood, this native smell freshly baked cakes, colorful Easter eggs-Krashenki … These seemingly earthly joy and somehow elevate the soul “mountain”, encouraged her to thanking the Risen Savior.

But this joy is preceded by great sorrow – the sorrow of the Great Holy Friday and Saturday of the Great Peace … And this sorrow to be experienced with the Church: to weep at the Cross before the crucified Son of God, together with his mother, whose heart is torn apart by pain; terrified with the Cherubim and Seraphim, closing wings face in a silent scream, “For what? Why people kill Him who gave them life, and came to give eternal ?! “; mourn entwined linen cloths of God, “a midwife sky clouds”, together with the students and the myrrh … Not passing way of the cross with Christ, you can not experience the fullness of Easter joy and fullness of life, which can give only the Risen Christ.

Holy Week – is rethinking his own life in the light of the Lord’s suffering. Only after passing this spiritual path with the Savior, together with the Church, we can truly understand the meaning of the Resurrection.

Easter message

In the field of suffering, which is not all the edges,

I’ll go as an apostle for the following of Christ, at dawn,

To see that moment as a born New Testament,

Screams of betrayal thrice roused loops

As the sky so bowed low to the ground for the first time,

And the birds were silent, grass were killed, both in the bow.

Hot tears streamed without permission from the eyes –

They are our hope helplessly, so it is a pity drowning.

A cross on Calvary – the arms opened to the world.

Now anger crossed human forever,

Tombs opened and the dead were from the graves,

And in horror the sun was darkened, and went back the river.

Wings concealing the suffering on their faces,

Sing Cherubim, dropping words like tears.

Love dies, love, vividly alive,

And dry, blackening in the garden, grapevines.

Crucified Love … It seemed that the world has changed,

As if the stream zazhurchal among frost frosty,

As if the sun shines at midnight suddenly his

It destroys the darkness, and the shadow faded formidable force.

A wind from the east brings unexpected news –

The cave is empty, someone heavy stone was rolled away.

And thunder trumpeting that the Savior is Risen!

Love resurrected and snowdrop bloomed amid thaw.

As a mother, feeling in childbirth seemingly unbearable torment, pain, the tears, heard the first cry of a newborn child, forget about all the suffering endured by her just that, and cries already of unspeakable joy, emotion and gratitude: it happened, a new life has come to our peace! God breathed into it the breath of eternal life and blessed on the way to the Kingdom of God.

As one wise saint: monks, martyrs, blessed, venerable not be given to anyone but a devotee should be everyone professes himself a Christian. The word “ascetic” means to move forward and move forward in their life bearing the cross, being of good cheer, not murmuring, not complaining, taking all of the gracious hand of God as a necessary cure for our ailing soul to salvation and union with Christ in God’s Kingdom.

Dear malyshonok, will soon be with you, and we go through this thorny path to the joy of birth. Be strong, gaining strength! I’m sure you’ll help me around the time of birth, and we with you by joint efforts, of course, with God’s help, will overcome all the difficulties of birth! I will hear, finally, your golosochek, I can squeeze my way to a breast lump, our eyes met, and in them I see the reflection of paradise …

Christ is risen, my dear, dear baby! Let the joy of the Resurrection illuminate our first common work for the sake of thy coming to our world and our first moments spent face to face! I look forward to this hour with impatience and trembling. I think that at the moment of birth the Lord will be with me a little closer than usual. He comes into my room and take my baby in his warm hands …

Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

LEAVE A REPLY