Read almost any glossy magazine lulls: Trip of your dreams, the best sex of your life, new collections and selective fragrances, gossip column and the same actor – he plays in the film, which would have to go on the weekend. Gloss creates an image of the ideal heroine, with frightening persistence repeating the pronoun “you” of his readers. As Michele Ferrero, maker of Raffaello sweets and chocolate spread Nutella, once invented image of Valeria, a housewife and mother of the family, model women customers products of his company, the editors of the magazine aligns any text under your ideal. Ideals can be 25 or 45 years, but it certainly is platform sandals, know who Ryan Gosling, loves to travel and is going to buy those same red shade of autumn Chanel collection. Like you. As I. Nonconformism in this case is acceptable, if it is non-conformism Kristen Stewart – casually elegant and outrageously beautiful, when the premiere of the film, she throws heels and left barefoot.
This ideal girl – girl Cosmo or Elle girl or anyone else – can be infinitely far from the real you. But at some point you will want it to be. The temptation will be all the more large that the distance always seems small – Matte lipstick, a new perfume Mon Paris by Yves Saint Laurent and training of femininity. But also for the pursuit of femininity, and a matte lipstick is hiding something more subtle, the most important thing. This is the focus of your attention. Ask a girl reading a glossy magazine about what she thinks – answers will be a million. Ask about whom she thinks, and the answer will be only one. About myself. You can read out all the novels and empathize with the heroes. But it is very difficult, reading a glossy magazine, not to try to write only for themselves. The world offers us a brilliant gloss reflection. Look at the glossy cover, and you will see it your face.
You probably know someone who still liked to look at his own reflection, and saw himself as a young and always immaculate. One young man from the Greek myth of Aphrodite was punished – just for being reject all those who loved him. He rejected and the nymph Echo – even she was not good enough for him. Since then, the son of the river god and nymphs Kefissa Lariopy Narcissus was doomed to look only at her own reflection. Now in his honor called a certain type of person – so, in which it is formed their own “I”, but almost not formed personal relationships, relationships with others. He turns away whenever it is possible to close, when it is easy to become involved and vulnerable. This narcissism is pretty terrible and merciless, because it negates the value of the person: for narcissus around – just a function of serving him. And let the real daffodils among us are not so many people with narcissistic defenses (and the most typical of them – the depreciation of the other) becomes more and more.
It is not easy to remember the value of the other, when advertising refers specifically to you, your originality and uniqueness, and hundreds of new collections of clothes and cosmetics are designed to make it for you almost Miranda Kerr or Keira Knightley. Perhaps the blame consumer society, but the luster throws us this idea in attractive packaging – it is necessary to take care of themselves. To be beautiful, being in a relationship, build a career, to cherish figure and health. Tools exist, and among them will be advertised and products, and advice of psychologists, and even your family. You intelligibly explain how to use them: how to leave work to their advantage, how to bring the stubborn man to the registrar, as is often placed after photos of her husband and children in instagrame and a time to get away from the annoying-law. All for the sake of a brilliant facade, which daffodils so cherish.
What is hidden inside a beautiful package, no one should know. Affection, pain, guilt, shame – that’s what the glossy world does not want to deal. As with the feelings of others. Others turn to use objects in the means to achieve the ideal. You should not care that feels annoying aunt, former head of the wife, or even your lover. In the September issue of a fashion magazine, there is quite a serious recommendation for this case – wait for two years to give up if it becomes clear that for your sake he will not leave the family. Who, how and where will experience this situation, it is not so important, because all of these people – only functions in the life of narcissistic personality and narcissistic personality used to be guilty and held responsible.
In the Orthodox environment, everything will look different, but here too there are those who for the sake of the beautiful facade – “I am a happy married women with many children” – will use neighbor as a means of forgetting and about love, and that the other – this is a whole separate universe with its desires and aspirations. So constructed Orthodox marriages of convenience. Is based on the fact that love does not play any role, and marriage is necessary to conform to a common standard. This is very little of Christianity and love, but there is a narcissistic defense and the characteristic signs of our time, who knows only one pronoun – “I”.
Once Hans Christian Andersen wrote a fairy tale about how the mirror troll smashed and its fragments were scattered around the world and made everyone got to see the world in whose eyes distorted. This story is eternal as the world itself, but our reality, full of advertising, glowing neon screens and fashion magazines, adds to it another tale. About mirror in which Narcissus looked. It was broken and the pieces were the most different people. People look at them – that the punishment of the goddess of love! – See only themselves. Sometimes these fragments come to us in the attractive glossy cover, and then most importantly – their time to recognize.