Jesse Oaks – wife, mother and professional blogger on Positively Oakes

Dear husband,

Yesterday, when we went to bed, I am terribly angry. I was angry at you for the whole world. I was upset, I’m tired, and I was very sad. They say that you can not go to bed without making peace, but I did not care. I wanted to be angry with you and wail of self-pity. I am annoyed that you do not understand why I am angry. I am depressed that you can not read my mind, and you need to explain aloud what I feel. And the main thing that upset me – I felt terribly lonely. And so it happens very often.

In fact, it happens almost every day .

Why can not you just understand that in my heart? Do not you understand what I’m trying the whole day, work, take care of our child, mess around with the cleaning, pay bills, and a thousand little things? I go to the store, I cook dinner (or come up with that m ozhno eat). And often plá chu during the day, trying to figure out how to bring it all into some kind of a reasonable system. And you laze in the meantime.

Yesterday turned out to be a tough day – but, as usual. Our daughter – do not get me wrong, she was the smartest kid – capricious. She did not sleep all night and all day, could not find a place for himself. Something is broken, then crying, the dog tore a piece of wool. I do not have time for her to clean. And after she scattered dog food on the floor and poured water from drinkers, my patience is exhausted.

Do not you know that every day I post to the loss of pulse, my dreams further away from me, because I try to care for the child and to keep in order our house?

I cried. I cried, and my head is spinning the same: Why? It’s not fair .

Yesterday I obviously did not have the patience (if I do still have). It was impossible to cope with the constant, every two minutes, screaming. The house was complete chaos, and it was still so much to do that it was necessary to do the next day. I thought I would go mad. And then you come home from work, all so calm. He greeted us, kissed us, took the hands of our wonderful daughter, hugged her and put next to the toys. You were so quiet – as if nothing in this world you do not care – happy face, as if nothing had happened.

I was infuriated. No, it’s not a word. I’m blown away. Emotions swirled simply: anger, hurt, frustration, congestion – you can continue by himself.

Why were you so calm? You do not know what I had a nightmare day? I do not know how I spent the whole day toiling to achieve something that was good and the child, and the house was in decent form, but in between times to stay and his wife, and a lot of someone else? Do not you know ?! But I did not say anything – all left to seethe inside … in the end exploded outside.

In the evening we went about their chores, fed daughter and dinner themselves, sat all together, and then laid the baby.

It’s us and bedtime …. And already in bed, I thought about what I should do about their immediate work (which is something to be seen progress), and my heart was getting worse and worse. I was silent, lying while you go about their business worked – and more and more fell into sorrow. I felt very sad, flooded all the sorrows of the past day.

You were so close to me, but had no idea what thoughts raging in my head. We started to talk, but I did not want to communicate. I answered in short sentences, and when you asked me what happened, I snapped, “Nothing.” Took a shower, went to bed, moving away away from you.

And then you said: “Stop saying ‘nothing’. Tell me what happened! “.

And then I started verbal flow. You know, like the heroine of “Mean Girls”? I suffered and I expressed all that spun in my head.

You’re not helping the child.

You do not clean up the house.

You’re not telling me “thank you”.

You do not have before me the case!

I have a full work-out.

My figure has become a nightmare.

You have to deal only himself.

The list went on and on … And then I went to bed.

… When I woke up this morning, you took our daughter out of bed, took her milk and brought to us in bed. And so you do every day . You took a shower, going to work, made a litter and that’s you too do almost every morning . I cooked breakfast and a child, and we sat down to eat. You dosobiralsya and ran away, saying that you love us both and kissed goodbye – just as you do every morning .

you take care of us every morning. Every day you do something for us. You, like me, work to ensure that we have everything you need. You bring in the order of a court, take out the garbage, you check if everything is in order with us. Everyday.

If I ask for help, you help. When I complain, you comforted me. When I say that I need to do something at home by a certain time, you do everything. You were always such a “balanced” because someone has to be the cool head, and it’s certainly not about me. You’re the glue that holds us together .. you happiness, by which we laugh, even if I am angry and tired. You peace and comfort that make our family a family.
I’m sorry I can not find the right words. Sorry to take you for granted, and I’m sorry I’m angry all the time.

Why am I so angry? Let me explain: because it is 95 percent, I clocked myself. If I decide to have pity on himself, others must. It’s not just me having a hard time: you, too, sometimes wrong. I wondered when you begin to read my mind, and this is, according to the laws of nature, it is in principle impossible. Rather than ask you to clean up the mess in the kitchen, I’ll navozhu order, and then angry that you did not. When the baby cries, I’m running to comfort him, and then grumble that you do not fell ahead of me.

I do not ask and do myself. Then you for this also goes to.

So just me.

I’m sorry I can not find the right words. I’m sorry that you perceive as something for granted. I’m sorry I’m angry all the time. The point in my outlook. In the way I handled the affairs of the day, I ask the help. You sit and watch sports or to remain calm – it’s absolutely unimportant. There are days when I just sit on the couch for an hour and watch our daughter plays. And you’re not mad at me for it, so I should not be angry with you.

I have to tell you what’s going on in my heart, what I feel, because of what I experience as I get tired and that depresses me, but not to save all this stuff inside and wait for it to break through muddy stream on your head.

The main thing is that I love you and forgive you your faults – just as you forgive mine. The main thing – to think about the best and ask for help. Make the first step, say “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

So: I’m sorry.

I’m sorry, I always think about the bad and do not appreciate you.

With love,