“Matrona” continue to review the literature about parenting and parent-child relationships. The next step – the book of Catherine Krongauz “I am a bad mother? 33 And the other issue, that spoil the life of the parents. “
On social networks walks picture test that determines if you are a bad mother. There can be a bad mother, but if you kill your child. In principle, this is a fairly accurate retelling of the book well-known journalist.
For my taste, the book was very watery. It is felt that was not written by professionals who have something to say, but just the Display identity. The effect is enhanced by the fact that many of the chapters in the book are simply a reprint of comments from Facebook.
And yet, in my opinion, the heroine of a unique experience for our time: Catherine, hipster, freelancer, humanities and creative people, has two children and divorced on the grounds of domestic problems. In our times, it is a great result, and should know, through a philosophy of life she did it.
In general, the main principle – not to bother:
If you are very tired – it is possible for one evening to pose as my father, do not clean up, do not cook, do not engage in developmental activities, and watch cartoons together and eat together with the children cooked pasta, seizing their plums. And nothing but the inflated expectations of the parent, not suffer from this, the children are happy.
Do not worry constantly guilt, to build a relationship with her husband, overpowering a instincts “yazhemateri” shift responsibility to the father, not too tense about grandmothers tips and quietly stick to their line. Understand that children – it’s always a little accident and do everything correctly and according to the plan still does not work.
If you seriously think about readiness, that includes in its package, then any reasonable person will understand that there will never he can be ready for the birth of a child.
And most importantly – do not perceive the child as a “duty”, as a socially significant project, which immediately cancels all your previous life:
From generation to generation is passed through the female line knowing that the child – a victim. What do you have to sacrifice? Himself, of course. And at the same time her husband and other close relatives.
It is important to learn to enjoy life with their children, to communicate with them, and do not live as if about to failures exam for the title of “Mother of the Year”, which meets all the standards of teaching and put their lives on the altar of motherhood.
At some point, you realize how much time you spent on some nonsense, empty alarm and thought … I’d rather remember me as a woman who slept too much, than a mother who loved children more than the rest. I even love the fact that love, not for children, but for themselves … I am nervous for the kids stop and think about how to grow them happy. And for the sake of children going to enjoy yourself and life from them.
In general, the book is structured as answers to questions, and I thought from the beginning that these answers will be there. In principle, it is there. But it looks something like the joke about a mathematician who get lost in a balloon travelers to the question “Where are we?” Replies. “In a balloon” In other words, the book is like a stream of consciousness Captain Obvious:
What if children lie? Well, lie and lie. Everyone lies.
What if the child being bullied? Well, according to the situation.
And what if the baby screaming in the airplane? Well, it happens, that’s life.
What if sitting in the iPhone? All sit and we sit.
As the ban, it’s hard? Try not to prohibit.
Is it possible to solve for children? Of course not.
But how to find a new husband, if you have children? I do not know, but someone turns.
What to do with children if her husband is gone? Well, divorce – an injury to the child, but live the same kind of people.
And so with all the other themes. All of the “tips” describes one quote: “It is, of course, does not answer the question … The answer to this question is no one knows.”
After 80 pages I began to dream, to book quickly ended and inserted eagerly flip through to dialogues from Facebook. I think we can safely you can read the first and last 10 pages – and nothing to lose.
Most book is like a Russian adaptation of the book “French children do not spit eating”, which I have overlookedhere . It’s a book-auditory training for parents perfectionists:
I am a good mother? No, the most common.
I’m a bad mother? No, the most common.
This maiden session of psychotherapy for wine in the company of girlfriends. Perhaps someone a book about children in this format will be very useful.