“Diary of a panda,” N. Trauberg
Collection of six thin books and one book of comments (slightly thicker) went on sale in mid-April, a couple of years ago. I know what you need to buy more because Trauberg snapping once – and then you need to be worn for years by the book to find it and give to friends. “Home Notebook” – a really homey, intimate, cozy collection. This text, previously published in samizdat, – a sort of locker in which to store notes on napkins, postcards, photographs, letters from friends. Boxes of the chest was opened to you and said you can.
Natalia L. Trauberg (1928 – 2009) – famous translator, essayist, critic, memoirist. The woman in England was called “Madame Chesterton,” the man, thanks to which the Soviet cultural revolution in his time were introduced Wodehouse names Lewis, Graham Greene. Author of the book of memoirs “Life itself” (2008), which is also worth reading.
First – you need to say. The first three books of the collection (poems for children and their preparation for the birth, it is insanely beautiful “Notes panda” pseudo-scientific treatise about the types of people «Summa anthropologiae») were written in the 1960s. Later, in 2008, Trauberg provided them with comments. No comments to these texts is easy to get lost and give up (to close, defer, we defer much, buying), but is not it always the case with retro cards, sent not you, incomprehensible abbreviations and addresses, mysterious panda who zachem-to to example, is looking for a daisy. Obscure, but interesting, and for some reason this simple world, and the greetings from the past seem to be important to you in such a difficult 2016.
Second three books – it is written in different times and collected Natalia L. separate essays and notes everything (love, movies, writing). They are read easier, but not so hit in the solar plexus
Now I will say on the merits. “Notebooks” are given a very dense and vivid image of the home and “relational” family life Trauberg Natalia and her husband, translation Virgilijus Chepaytisa. It is important that you stand out of the text, although, of course, not the only one. So: the life and comfort. Here it is good to explain why these people, who immediately enjoy (like them – very!) Live this way, and not otherwise; “What” they are “against” something. And why are so hard on her. “Notebooks” Trauberg – complex texts on simple and concrete things. How to stay on the good side, if the world around you is hostile. How (and why) complex and subtle characters to create and maintain a home cosiness. How are strange, funny and absolutely angelic people like move in the space, touch the gray. The text of the article – an attempt to summarize the happiness technology.
Friendly scrambled eggs and sleep before the adventures (rules a child’s room)
In the “Notebooks” are many answers to the questions that we almost do not ask. Trauberg just throws them in our minds, but in fact – like, because we forget.
Take in the hands of the “Wreath of sonnets” (the first book). Verses are written on behalf of children and Trauberg Chepaytisa, son and daughter, and transmit their intuition in the womb and experiences from childhood already incarnate.
To the author’s sense of childhood – is sacred in itself. It accommodates those things that hold human life: the taste of sweet tea; trip to the zoo. A world where there is a “slow snowflakes” and “clean window”. kitchen space, where fried eggs – “affable”, where there is “just around the vegetables, fruits and berries.”
Trauberg neatly brings us back to memories that are actually stored in each archive: the memory of, for example, “how to go to sleep in front of the Christmas tree, before the wedding, an exam, an adventure.” If there was not a tree or a wedding, or even an adventure, you can remember as a preschooler with her grandmother went through the table buckwheat.
Sonnets hard (but not obtrusive) record that have to be fixed. Here it is, the first notch, the first proper mechanism (for Trauberg) perception of the world: to catch a sense of life, which was inherent in us as a child; share it . Reminding the other, pointing to the important point, press in their fingers during a massage the muscles responsible for memory.
What else? Flowers, post (or post, just simple honest food – anti-canned ), “the blessed freedom of absolute integrity and loyalty to friends” (the family knew how and loved to be friends, and the people – talented, special, met – friends in response to the same fun, sincere and for life).
A lot of good things about the comfort of childhood, and said in a notebook, “Jacob on Lukishki”. This book – Trauberg letter to his grandchildren. The text is well illustrated by the amazing, loving attention to detail, gives an example of a memory tool: here was a closet, that’s the same color are the walls in the nursery, this was a oven. Trauberg lists important sacred thing: a hare named Lalka, book spines on the shelves, a rose bush in the garden.
Trauberg tells them and us drink coffee on a clean tiled kitchen, remember childhood grace.
How to maintain order and stay on the good side (rules pandas)
At the same time, basic comfortable world of confidence and calm, bright feeling of nostalgia for childhood, a cozy kitchen – certainly not all. At the very least, to see just that – it would be hypocritical. In those sonnets Trauberg indicates a threat to the external world.
The external threat – is the world of the so-called “Bobritsa”. We find in the comments funny explanation of the term adopted in the family circle Trauberg: Beavers – “those who do what is necessary to do (put beavers build a hut).”
In contrast Bobritsa in Trauberg – the image of a panda. Do pandas its secrets. Panda cozy, good, open, but shy, all regret; He loves salad leaves and own den; Bobritsa annoying and knows it. Much fear and very careful when dealing with the outside world. Sometimes it is easier to come home for a halfway daisies (the image of grace and peace of mind, the image of a miracle), because I saw on the corner Bobritsa and decided not to meet with them, because – flogged ( “put in place”).
“Notes panda” beautiful above all a clear formulation, a transparent explanation of happiness technology.
Technology multi-: a kind of large and small chariot.
Sometimes you can just be lazy, “just sit at home,” because there – its people and its subjects (back to the coffee concept on a tiled kitchen). But this is not enough.
There is another, more high fashion, it includes an active element, although it is concerned, again, comfort and life. It lies in the way of careful maintenance of order around him . Here is a more poetic option: “all the time to clean up, just to work on the white sheets of paper.” This activity does not have to be directed to work as such, in itself the formula of “cleaning” is not contrary to laziness. It is important to the concept of accuracy, internal discipline (in Trauberg not equal to “lack of freedom”), the ability to pull himself together, to withdraw from the muddy state of the soul, wiping the glass in the apartment.
When something goes wrong, panda knows that you need to force yourself to lay the bed, lie down. Warning: do not just collapsed on the blanket, covered with a jacket, and lay a bed. What happens next: “cool linen – it becomes a little bit better.” So a person who became ill, partly helped himself by taking the simple act of maintaining order. Then life begins to help the person to itself: “the case, case: the machine to send to repair, heels do, buy this and that.”
But, as has been said, even periodically pandas still have to come into contact with the outside world and get outside.
What do they see? The practical embodiment of Bobrinev world – women in trousers, or slightly greater length – the people who are gray and like canned food. They are afraid, and pandas, and children out of the good cozy world – heroes “Wreath of sonnets.” Sometimes the author expressed harder and harder the word, the better we understand how difficult it was for Trauberg confrontation with the world of canning and bureaucratic “coarse animal face and young families”, “stirring grounds digging.” Slips phrase “rubber logic of persecution.”
Overall, Trauberg completely covered insult on Bobritsa, and more – an insult to the world of their parents, or rather, the world is his mother (his father, according to the “notebook”, the relationship was closer and touching). So, the mother could careless in conversation, thinking that little Natasha hears, he says that “recklessly caused their children life.” That is to say, to express the idea is radically contrary position Trauberg and ranivshuyu her childhood.
Of the many comments we learn that the beautiful and strong mother, Vera Trauberg “conflicted with his daughter because of the complete dissimilarity of characters and different ideologies.” For Trauberg essential dichotomy in the assessment of people I had a couple of “quiet” / “brisk”. Mother was certainly brisk. Natasha – certainly quiet.
But the child in Trauberg not limited to fear of beavers or insult them. He overcomes insult and says: “I knew they were wrong, very sorry for them and ask for them.” So the text triumphantly breaks the concept of pity and compassion, essential for Trauberg, important and basic .
Panda, as a child, too, regret Bobritsa. And while in this world (the world of “merciless ladies”), the opposite rule applies: for pity snort – “pity humiliates beaver” Trauberg encourages this common installation humble, but to act in spite of it. Pity need to feel sorry for everybody, even – if need be – to stroke the stones on the pavement.
Such traubergovsky cult of charity: sorry people, including beavers (their – required); and do not forget about the order in the den.
The mechanism of comprehensive mercy is very fragile, angry, when the attack – simply to defend themselves – naturally. But the problem lies in the fact that in a difficult moment to say: I know and remember this is a shame and hurt when looked tough, they said roughly, severely condemned, even if true. The man who says (in Trauberg – “vzvoet de profundis”, from the bottom): “I know how terrible it is – and never let anyone here does not plunge and dare not judge about anybody who’s here” – will be saved “by an unknown law “. Although in general the law is well known – it is one of the fundamental Christian principles, blessed are the meek.
HOW TO SURVIVE WITHOUT carapace (protection of the Blessed nerds)
Beavers and pandas – of course, a very simple distinction. There are also more complex.
In the treatise «Summa anthropologiae» Trauberg offers a new, subtle gradation, clearly hard-won and very transparent. We it is interesting in that it illustrates in detail the vulnerability of “quiet” before the “glib” the outside world – and about how you can try to deal with this vulnerability.
Here are two new terms, which introduces Trauberg: a) boring; b) Paskuda.
To understand the “concept” nerds and Paskuda should try to completely abandon the usual content of these words (especially the first – boring). Take in the types of names will not be quoted – it does not take them by the author.
So, nerds – people are “wrong” in its essence – the children, humiliated, outdoor, unworthy, ridiculous, non-smooth, quiet, stupid, weak. As can already understand, it’s a little more advanced, disclosed the concept of pandas.
Paskuda same (by analogy – beavers) – on the contrary, correct, adults, elevated, enclosed, decent, non-ridiculous, smooth, lively, intelligent, strong.
As some contact with the other, rather like a bore adapted to the outer world and the bravery of “strong” how to survive? There are many different versions of “coexistence” in Trauberg for everyone – the name in Latin. More deeply, of course, to understand all the help he treatise, here I briefly describe the different types of nerds in the form of notes.
Some boring pain becomes violent, some from a desire to protect themselves – evil. Most nerds, unfortunately Trauberg, acquires shells to hide or deceive in different ways Paskuda (masked). But, fortunately, this is – is not the only vector of development. It would seem, “boring, does not create the shell, can not live.” It should perish (Trauberg causes variations death: “Death, insanity, alcoholism or drug addiction”).
But no. Trauberg confident and knows that nerds shell-less live, even though they are not many. Some of these are gentle and open the so-called “Boring thoughtful.” They are calm, no matter what especially did not expect (and do not complain), everyone understands, look at the people and the world wisely and gently. It happens that then they become armored, but not always.
And there are other daredevils: nerds blessed. Sometimes a person shows signs of blissful boring only in childhood (then – apparently, “spoiled”). This happy, joyful and generous, nezhestokie children. Sometimes, nerds remain blessed all my life (Trauberg calls this phenomenon of St. Francis, and notes that such a “meets once every two or three centuries”; apparently, it is about those we are accustomed to consider holy). It happens that the nerds are blessed in adulthood (the so-called miracle Chesterton). As it happens, and where does, throws up his hands Trauberg, science is not conducted.
It is interesting that such a blissful boring though is for the world ridiculous and absurd, but other types of nerds characterized by the ability to realize themselves. This ability gives him some protection, which replaces the shell. Carapace – a lock and antitvorchestvo. Privacy blessed nerds – creativity. It does not matter what kind of work: for example, it can be something of a series of conventional – music, lyrics, or dance; and can be self-realization in their own “den” (home) – the education of children, the family.
By the way, thanks to this protection of the Blessed bore so attracts people, inspiring them and admiration to the point of bewilderment.
Whether testing experimental technology such happiness possible? What if we of ourselves know – not blessed, not creative and not boring?
Some of the ideas voiced here, we still instinctively close. For example, we know that for a cozy way of life is the truth, because sometimes, passing by the windows, followed by dinner prepared and served at the table, we have compressed the heart. We remember their own childhood, regardless of whether it was easy or difficult, and reviewing photos from time to time come to their city. This prior knowledge is necessary to keep, remember it.
Another useful mechanism – periodically to glimpse landmarks. We can not always afford to be guided by the saints. You can recall the blessed nerds like Chesterton. This “subspecies” wonderful people a little closer to us and easier to understand than the saints, in addition, we are probably at least once in my life encountered such a person, or at least know about its existence from the stories of other people, usually – they admired.
It is important to remember that in this example does not have to be a creative person in the conventional sense – a writer, thinker and poet. So, for the most Trauberg example and guide for life was her own nurse – a very simple man. Natalia L. wrote: “O Lord, what would happen to me if I did not nurse!”. Babysitting Lukerya Buyanova, according to the memoirs Trauberg was unalloyed example of meekness, charity, and humility.
Life nurses Nyadele (her pet nickname), for many years at the former family, ended very sad, but she accepted this fate meekly. His father, a famous film director, who was able to evacuate in the Great Patriotic family in Alma-Ata, could not take with them, and the nurse, as she was not formally Trauberg relative. Natalia L. mentions that “to do something you could by bribery, but somehow it did not work.” Lusha Buyanova remained in Leningrad and died during the siege.
Little by little, perhaps, we will be prepared and familiar things for us, but with a new internal content (thereby that science is not explained).
Setting aside – for half an hour – in bulk uphill work, make coffee and drink it slowly leafing through a well-published poems. In some of the Saturday to take the difficult, almost kingly way – to do spring cleaning or just make out things in the closet.
When then we will feel sorry for the woman, the patients and our heel on foot in open shoes – we are right in this, boring and … happy.