Natalia O’Shea, principal soloist of the Russian folk group “Mill”, fans know the name Helavisa. The author of music and lyrics, linguist, candidate of philological sciences, mother of two daughters – what is it really? In an interview with “matron” – the flexibility of the world, the role of internal strings and fences in the proper upbringing of children.
You’re from the outset entered in the Irish culture. It has a breakdown, greater complexity, inner drama …
And the role of fate. Another among the Scandinavians is especially pronounced.
How to live with this feeling? On the one hand positive, parenting, fireworks, carnival. And on the other inner brokenness.
In my opinion, this is a normal balance. I can see and feel a lot Chthon even see in it a certain beauty and get the pleasure of communicating with her, just because I can. The world turns on this bright and contrast.
I choleric, I get angry, stamped his feet, and then write a heartbreaking song, then go to the head, and that’s all I’m going to do with the same impact. For me, is not peculiar to a state of “something lost heart” in principle, if not completely compacted me physically, I do not lose heart.
Another thing is that there are all sorts of seasonal depression, from which it is necessary to drink tablets, pick them up at the psychiatrists and neurologists to work with different types of therapy. When you see that all the bright colors of the world are gone, and Chthon is not so beautiful, and beauty is not so beautiful, everything is gray – a depression. And personally, it took me a lot of time and effort to understand that when that happens – it’s not me bad, bad all around the world and generally disgusting. It is a medical condition with a specific name, no need to pull themselves out of it by the ears as Munchausen. We have to go to give professionals undergo tests for generalized anxiety disorder and other psychoses urban residents, and then give himself up.
You grew up in Russia, and your husband in Ireland, his family still lives there. Ireland is similar to Russia, or is it a completely different world?
We are different from the James family, my – the city, the family of scientists and the military, and his teacher, and rustic farmers. In Ireland, I lack spontaneity. If salmon – only with béchamel sauce, boiled broccoli and carrots. If the child wants to eat a yogurt in between two meals – you need to assemble a council. I was annoyed, not enough to go beyond lacking corporeality, tactility, holidays disobedience. Mastering a new skill – it is something out of the ordinary, it is necessary to discuss this with all. And if the neighbors on the way say something, then all the saints endures.
Play fun, but in reality is probably hard.
Of course. I understand that it is necessary to go to the relatives of her husband, I like them a lot, but this is not a vacation for me, and the performance of certain social functions. I know I have to go, to show the children.
The children in this spontaneous and tactile?
Our children committed by males, is very fun to watch as they gradually tormoshat and grandmother, and grandfather, and other relatives. They climb on the handle, climb, kiss. And my mother-in-deserved teacher, a strict and formal, as many shells bursting.
How things work
Why does this shell appears in public?
Sometimes this way of life of the country, but generally it happens because people are different. I saw a guitar amp? He has a switch and ten divisions …
Not seen, but I think that readers will understand.
I think that different people have different amounts of these divisions. For myself, I say that I have is emotional preamp, pre-amplifier. For example, if I’m in love, I have no inside butterflies fly, but the bats are, with leathery wings.
Different people have different amounts of risochek on the switch, and still have all the different channels. There are people that are easy and comfortable to talk, even if you are not familiar. There are those who do not talk about, and about to do, there are many among the musicians. Fumbling in the corner of the studio, he keeps quiet, and then – rrrraz and plays “Flight of your soul.” And there is a third type, which organizes itself around people and even space itself.
In general, I am for a great variety and I want other people to also be aware that everyone is different. And it would be strange to expect from different people of the same emotions and how they express, the same shell or her absence, the most important thing – to know how you all that in, find out and use.
Is there anything in our world, the things that you want, but you can not understand? For me, such a stumbling block – untimely departure person.
Caring man – always a global infringement. But, frankly , much more than I have always been interested in the world device basically. Did the universe continues to expand, that is an event horizon? In some other life I would be a quantum physicist, because it is the most interesting.
Not a biochemist?
Biochemists also possible, but a biochemist at me mum, for me it is less romantic. If only because I know what the angiotensin-converting enzyme and how it works, I can understand the result of biochemical analysis of their blood.
And to understand what is a black hole?
I can, but in theory, but would like to have more time to figure it out. I find it interesting to live, I wonder how the world works. Interestingly constantly learn something, even how to handle the new remote control zvukorezhisserskim in our rehearsal room, although I do not sound.
If we are talking about global issues, as you know life and death as you know?
The appearance of a person – it is for me one of the wonders of the completely unconditional, because the birth of the individual being, the individual – an incredibly cool and great! One of the fundamental pieces in the system of the universe – that man can not samoreplitsirovatsya. There are all sorts of people, each of which leaves some trace in eternity. And about death, I would like to think that this is the transition to the next level of existence, we just about this level still know little.
It is said that today people have become very cynical, but what do you mean by cynicism? There are generally a feeling?
I think that cynicism, callousness – a denial of any emotions that people seem to be too pretentious, and therefore funny. The denial of the ability to love sincerely, sincerely sympathize, empathize. The denial of self-kindness, “No, I do not want to think that I am kind, they will think that I am a weakling and a rag.”
I myself so often talk on serious topics, I was constantly internally podshtarmlivaet. My thoughts go multivectoral, that is, I can talk about something quite serious, but suddenly in the head happens to Jack Nicholson in “The Witches of Eastwick.” Why was there such an attractive character? Yes, because he was not cynical, it is these three aunts sincere sympathy and good wishes, just having such a nature, all around him in a certain way is twisted.
Tell us about the children you educate them?
Positive Motivation – our all. My eldest daughter, Nina, to the “weak ?!” you can not take ever. If she says “you do not succeed”, she did not work. Here we learned the multiplication table, it is not – and I find some fun ways, life hacking.
Through the app on your phone?
Yes, all this pampering, with the phone, you just need to make an interesting process and fix the result praise. For example, when the eldest, Nina began to read Harry Potter, she had a huge jump in the reading itself. I say: “Look, you are afraid, and got something even better than we thought” – and its like Tony Stark in “Iron Man” throws up, all appearing forces.
Younger, Una, pousidchivey and stronger mentality, but it is extremely stubborn. When she came up to do something a certain way, and you’re trying to explain to her what to do differently, nothing happens. We need to do something else, and then come back, because it’s a sheep, of course, purebred.
Una was born by caesarean section. It is often said that “kesaryata” non-competitive, not stubborn, phlegmatic. But what, really?
In fact his mother after cesarean excellent chances to grab postpartum depression. I’ve been caught – after the first fine of pregnancy and childbirth without anesthesia, with the songs, the operation occurred. And you hang the blame: “I am a bad mother, I did not cope, deuce to me.” It is necessary to work with this here. As for the children, and I know his kesarevnu, and many children born in this way, they have the will to life, development and progress better than many.
Your children look to you internally?
Younger even copy it tricky, with a grim sense of humor, she also has an inner Jack Nicholson. But what if your favorite toy – a bat, and she sings pirated songs? But the elder – “girl-girl”, she is very gentle when something may even cry from that. But with a large contrast, I do not see. And Nina, and Una regularly need disobedience holidays.
What are you doing about them?
We can see two cartoon about “How to Train Your Dragon” in a row, because it is usually more than one day, I do not allow, and even then not every day. We can arrange a pajama day, there on the floor, but just playing the fool. I think it’s cool in any moment to break the usual routine and surrender to the flow. For example, my last birthday we were celebrating so – sitting in their pajamas with fruit on the balcony and in every way horsing around.
There are some things in their behavior, to which you are intolerant?
A friend of a friend to hurt – this is our taboo it once in the neck, and to apologize to each other. I also very much encouraged, when they lie, and it pronounces. According to the priest slapped and put in a corner very easy, but I think it’s right to explain, because if you put them in a corner, they are there, whether you know leave.
As you pass the days together?
I raise them, give out food, I push in the form and accompanied the international Amadeus Viennese school, there are taught in English, there are musical bias. They will play the piano, and Nina has been on the violin.
Then I go to run, do the instrument, answering mail. Really do not like to clean up, but do not get tired of cooking, locked in the kitchen, cook without exact recipe is my trance. I was a child loved to watch my grandmother in exactly the same manner in the kitchen conjures. At five I’m taking children out of school. They go in all sorts prodlenki, they chorus, now Nina is a culinary class. Quietly go home, we can go to the park, playground or something in that spirit, do some homework there, doing the violin, but a little. In the evening the husband comes home from work and the elder reads in English and deals with the violin until I read with the younger, and then he tells a bedtime story.
You check them?
Of course. It is important that training system was transparent for parents.
Both the children you teach?
For three weeks in Montenegro we have to iPads is not touched at all even once, they have taken with a notebook with all sorts of logical puzzles. Brilliant the notebooks such A4, for all ages, 5-6 years, 7-8, 9-10 years old, it’s called “myshematika”. They were with us a perfect hit. Find your way through the maze, draw a mirror image, count in the game.
What are you playing?
In everything I see around me – constantly. We also have a lot of role-playing games in recent years is more about pirates and mermaids. We have something to master, cut out snowflakes, flowers do. We go for a walk in the park, I show them all kinds of plants, the difference between the Canadian clover from Europe.
The Canadian serrated leaves, and at the European tidy. Museums like, and basically walk sighting. In Vienna, especially on the Bruegel walking, for example, and in the Italian wing is not even wrapped. They are small, and a half hour for them to the limit. But the kids will remember exactly what kranahovskih aunts such golden hair, like my Nina, they will remember the anthology of European winter landscape, which began with Bruegel, these hunters in the snow.
You should always plan such trips. In the Tretyakov Gallery, I’ll show them necessarily Vasnetsov, Kuindzhi strictly necessary, will show how it has all the lights, we talk about how he achieved this effect. And that was quite good – Vrubel Hall, Swan Princess to have stuck in my head forever.
And something with the action?
In Moscow, we go to the Sats theater, like a puppet theater and classical performances. Recently, the children went to summer camp in Finland, which was organized by my friend, Natalia Lapkin, a man with a fairy tale in the eyes. We were friends arrived musicians were jam sessions. Warm white nights and the kids dancing on the roof of the woodshed! Tale, although my husband said I was an irresponsible mother.
But we had a disobedience holiday for adults and children, stretched for a week, with a very intense training. I brought home a bunch of gorgeous watercolor paintings, however magnificent. We sat overlooking the fantastic nature, eating Caesar salad with crayfish tails and Natasha told about the history of the country.
We went into the studio to do kantele, the national musical instrument. And then I told them how Vainamoinen, the protagonist of “Kalevala”, made for the first time myself kantele from fish bone, and wooden tools were already then.
I tell them that the harp – is the only musical instrument made of weapons, it’s an onion. Genesis harp – sound strum the string, the children listen to it and understand that it’s the music, but at the same time and death. That’s the duality, it seems to me, must always be present in the children’s world. Anything can turn around anything this world unsteady, the world is flexible, it’s shadow on the wall of Plato’s cave. I see that the children remember, imbued, repeat these tales and invent your own. I, for example, children, sock disappears when they say that the old troll stole it for your baby in the washing machine.
It is, as they say, storytelling?
Exactly. I told them their favorite aventyuru Andersen about the wild swans, with all the gory details, with all these nettles to the cemetery, we sang the song “Sleeves of nettle-grass.” And the next day I gave them the task to invent apocryphal, what happened to the Prince, whose one wing. Here at once it is clear that one of the children at heart and in my head, because Nina said that he found the country where they live, such as werewolves, one-armed and odnokrylye, where he found her. My godson Gleb came up with the prince retained the ability to fly, and this allowed him to become the chief royal scout. A girl Katya, a pragmatist to the core, said Nettle collected Eliza, doctors received a drug that allowed the wing instead grow the prince’s hand.
Spin double figs
You very very trusting relationship with her mother, it is not often the case.
We have always been friends, maybe influenced by that, when I was in school, my father got a position in the University of Dundee and began to live in Scotland. It became less time to spend with us, we are left each other alone. It is clear that there was still a grandmother and a variety of other family members, but due to circumstances my mother became important for each other. When he left – I was 14-15 years old.
And teenage rebellion?
I did not have it. I was old enough to me can be a lot to talk about. Here since then and talk.
You strongly controlled much banned?
No. It is necessary to head to understand that total control – not an option, that this violence against the person. Some people not only to children, all around use control, because they do not know any other way of interacting with the world. It’s no good, I always hear not only themselves for their flexibility and ability.
I also believe that children absolutely necessary to teach the language to show, giving schelbany and double twist figs. Children need to climb trees and fences, get dirty with a walk. If a child came in clean clothes and neat haircut – he walked badly. The child must rustling leaves, rummage under the bushes, fall, break the knees, scratching, tear the pants, bungee ride. In short, to do what I really love to do myself, but I’m afraid that my children do.
As a child, all the apple trees around the MSU were mine, despite the fact that I was sick a lot and generally had modest student. And in the first year of university, I met a physicist and a mathematician, we took the books and climbed onto the clock tower in front of the Faculty of Physics. Past clockwork – it’s an absolute Hoffman!
Scary though. Especially if you are doing your children.
Of course, it is terrible, but I hope that in 18 they are about themselves and so will be missing. Because you are sitting on the roof, swinging her legs at 27 floor, looking at the sunset over the physics department – as well!
PS 26 and 27 October on the stage of the capital club «YotaSpace» group “Mill” will present his new album, “Chimera” .
Text and photos by Anna Danilova