Probably everyone sometimes utters the words, which later regret. The words spoken in frustration, resentment words, anger, jealousy, or claim. Words escaped in the heat for a long time and then gnawing soul. How I want to take these words back! But not for nothing that the proverb compares the word bird – fly, you will not catch …
However, there are words that do not want to take back. And more than that – the time comes, and the severity of heart rests on a word is said, the words are not donated, the words trapped in the soul of false pride, false shame, because of the strange ideas about what is right and what is wrong.
The words good words warm words of admiration and love, words of tenderness. Simple words that pour confidence. Compliments. “You look wonderful today,” “What a tasty salad, thank you,” or even simply “What a lovely dress.”
Interestingly, the word compliment the French in origin, and in the French compliment is, apart from the usual us to “welcome” and “congratulations.” How interesting! As if speaking to man about his wonderful traits or qualities, we welcome these qualities, and we rejoice with him that these qualities he has. Compliment – it is not just words on the details in the form of a man, just a decoration image, lifting it to new heights.
Once there was a girl, and she went with her mother to the theater. After the performance, my mother told her daughter: “When we were at the buffet, I admired you. You had such a good posture, you are so carefully kept. ” The words sink into the soul, and then the girl will be easy to hold on to people and watch your posture. And if my mother said: “Again you slouch, how many times you repeat!”. The weight of these words can stoop for a lifetime.
It happens that a number is a talented person … or just native people. His talents are taken for granted, we support his efforts are perceived as a natural state of affairs. And then life is changing, and this person is no longer a number, “Some are not, and those far away.” And it hurts the heart because he can already say: “How I love you … How I feel good with you … It’s good that you realized today buy cake … It’s great that you’re around.”
What could be better than listening to the compliments? And what most people react awkwardly and inappropriately? On the compliments … “You look great today! – Oh, what are you, I did not sleep all night! “. “What a lovely dress! – And I did a hundred years ago, bought in the transition. ” “You speak well in English. – No, my accent and general vocabulary is not enough. ”
The inability to accept compliments – it’s kind of sad, kind of trouble, and more – a whole social disease. Yes, we were taught that we should be modest. However, modesty does not involve self-deprecation, and the reaction to a compliment often reach the “what are you, I’m” almost to open self-flagellation.
Listening to a compliment, we are looking for the catch ( “What if I look awful, and me just laugh?”), Trying to get away from the “responsibility” for the compliment ( “No, I did not sew, and my girlfriend, but I …”) hiding behind something “bigger and better”, we want to show ( “a bad pie, but on Sunday I’ll bake properly”). Never mind that the cake is really beautiful, you look fine and all is well. Somewhere it sits thought that the praise – it’s not very good … Maybe denying the compliment, we are afraid of the evil eye? Or we think that it is no accident – once praised for something they want from us?
But what about the … Facebook, VKontakte, instagram? What huskies, but conventions compliments? Handing huskies and receiving them, we will quench your thirst for approval of words, words of encouragement, motivation. It seems that if the simplified compliments “distributed” without looking in his eyes, and then to take such a compliment easier. And to say easier.
After all, that is a compliment? It is also a narrow path. He said the head of a compliment – hit the wolf paws. Said a colleague a compliment – she decided that her podsizhivayut. And the slave said to compliment – very bad, his work load, but he pretend pious. But on the approval and compliments are so important. It seems no accident colleague praises dress boss? And let praises. Maybe boss all day is a good mood, and it’s useful for all. And if the soul, much more!
It is difficult to learn to accept compliments, it’s hard. But it is important to learn. Do not hesitate, do not deny it, and smile and say thank you. Thank cloudy morning you smiling at me and saying that I look good. Yes, I know that I did not sleep the night and it seems to me that the skin is gray, and his eyes extinguished. But if you see me in a different light – Thank you, I will find the strength to shine the light.
It is necessary not only compliment the person for whom he says. It is necessary and the one who says it. For compliment hidden sympathy, the desire to establish a good relationship, and it is simple – say a good word.
Remember how Okudzhava sang: “Let’s shout, admire each other. Lofty words should not be afraid. Let’s talk to each other compliments – It’s all love happy moments. ” Let us spare no compliments – in fact, listening to them, you always want to meet them.