I’ll start from afar. Three years. Although, in fact, even earlier – with a half. I left the office for the boiling water and caught the end of the hands-free scene at the reception: a young mother separates from her feet tiny girl and says: “And it does not stick, until the phone it will not give! I do not give, I said, I need it the most, “the girl a little more than a year, but she yells loudly and expressively:” Play forbid! ! Game-ah-ah-ah-amb “And I wondered – who are cut into pieces?
The main request of the parents of recent years is as follows: how to tear a child from your computer? You do not like my answer. Because the only thing that can be done – not to put the baby to the screen. Absolutely.
Let’s Lean back and remember how proceeded even our own childhood.
From zero to one and a half years
The child in her arms, in the arena, on the floor in a wheelchair. His forces entertain the whole family, sometimes left to cry alone, while mom takes a shower or toilet visits. In the event of serious circumstances of life the baby is sent to the nursery, where the situation is roughly the same minus the family. Hitting about all caves in the mountain of ironed linen, voluptuous cat squeezed, then crying, she scratched.
From half to three years
The child goes by the handle and walking in the yard or in the park, digging enthusiastically in the dirt collects cigarette butts and drags them into his mouth, throws sand falls and gets up, tries to dig in glazik dog, toss a dead bird, so she flew.
From three to seven years
Worth half a day, as a frozen, to open garage doors, in which repairing the car. Sitting, disease, on the windowsill, crocked in a blanket and watching street traffic. It helps mum on Saturday to clean the floor, then the Pope – to beat out the carpet in the snow. He falls asleep wherever caught, while mom is torn like a wounded, searching for missing. He goes with his parents to the country in four modes of transport, it is virtually a world tour.
From seven years of age and older
Go to school, have friends there, soccer after school, it comes when it’s getting dark, messy and impossibly hungry like a wolf asleep on the lessons. Rides his bike, explores attics and basements, he gets into trouble, losing smenku, briefcase, jacket. Walks in the model aircraft circle and hockey in the winter, take the book from the ‘Library of adventure “, reads them at night and in the toilet, raves Captain Blood and Robin Hood.
His life is full of events and achievements, it requires the exertion of all the forces of soul and body. Sometimes he gets up at night with open eyes, and mindless, something hotly mumbles and falls back into bed, like the dead soldier. He dreams, whispers under his breath when slowly trudges home after lessons along the tram tracks. He has his “place of power”, a stall with ice cream or bakery box, mess – the source of countless treasures. He knows the courts in which it is not necessary to go, and porches where you can ride out the storm. He has friends and enemies among adult children.
57% of modern fathers raise their children via electronic gadgets. According to a study of the newspaper The Daily Mail, the majority of parents believe that the child with the electronics necessary to acquaint the ages of two to six years. Only 16 people of the respondents are worried that this may adversely affect the health of the child.
And this world is somewhat different from the present. From zero to one and a half there is little difference, except that mothers have more free time (long live diapers and washing machines!) And plenty of anxiety. Therefore, the child mostly wearing: a stroller, to my mother, to the highchair … About to quietly crawl across the yard, and can be no question. Around danger, dirt, syringes and dog poop. Is that the sea can fall greedily to clean the sand, but that’s not all succeed. To survive with her baby in a modern city apartment, invented a variety of tools, toys, razvivalki, otvlekalki. All, in order not to give the child to explore the world on their own.
A bored, desperately bored. He wants to climb, dig, pour and pour, break, smell, waking. Mom is looking for a peaceful stroll in the social networks. Well, suppose that my mother wants to cook dinner. But honestly, cooking dinner, washing, ironing, cleaning floors not interfere with the child as much as the seat on the Internet. Therefore, as soon as the child grows to an independent seat, handed him an old phone or tablet, or, if it is absolutely bad, the TV turns on. Oh, well, now he’s busy, and my mother have half an hour for yourself.
Yet almost without exception, we were transferred to the machine. If earlier children safely carried in public transport (the other-it was not), it is now one thought that my child will be in the same volume with the crowd terrible and (most likely) contagious people, causing panic. Therefore we carry only child in the car. Yeah, in traffic jams. And very soon it becomes clear that the child in the car, too boring. He scandals and rampant. A distracted from the road is very, very dangerous. Therefore, only for safety reasons, the child is given at the mercy of ayfonchik with “Fruit Ninja”.
Queues in the children’s clinic, metro, train, waiting any situation where the parents do not know how to take a child or do not want to strain – an electronic one will rescue you everywhere! This is a great way to: achieve obedience ( “If you go to bed without whims – ladies play”), to punish and threaten ( “You will behave this way – take away aypad”), get a breather himself, to make gifts, and even encourage good study ( “A quarter without triples – iPhone and get the fifth for the New year “).
Screams of “Why he does not interested, do not want anything, does not go anywhere and does not communicate with us? !!” Will start a little later, by the age of twelve.
Another important aspect of the topic. Some fifteen years ago, children en masse observed the daily life of parents work, classes in housekeeping, even in children often took shop. I judge it on the basis of children’s drawings. In 1994, the Diagnostic drawing “Family” is usually portrayed, or “mother in the kitchen, Dad on the couch watching TV, I’m in my room kata typewriter” or “Mom, Dad, I’m holding hands, walking down the street.” Today, children’s drawings show that even a cat has its aypad. Everyone sits buried in the monitors. Bleak picture as said Eeyore.
TEACH CHILDREN TO LIVE
Agree, it’s is our main goal as parents, the ultimate goal of our educational effort: the years of childhood and adolescence to prepare children for independent survival in the modern world. For the most part we do it, and do good. Give education, health care, we try to surround the good people and things.
But training is primarily by example. So what do they see our children? They do not go to work for parents (with very few exceptions), spend a little time outside in the free search, but it is absolutely necessary for their growth, they have no reason, nor the opportunity to explore the world and themselves. Today’s urban children live in a sterile world of computer technology. The fact that in the literature is called “role-playing games” – in the daughters and mothers, cops and robbers, just recreate any fictional story that begins with the words “Come on, like you …” – now moved into a worldwide network.
And an alternative world where you are the all-powerful hero, should be so attractive that the child wanted to turn around to face her. What can you offer? It’s you yourself will have to shut down the computer, leave the network, disable all gadgets …
Remember your childhood, from small bars to plane “canary” and find a suitable bit. Dig (ok, permission to dig for a good cause) on the Internet and find all the pieces in the “rezinochku”. Login to the site “Mosigry” and buy “Dixie” or “monopoly”. But to play some still have you yourself, of people is delivered to your door do not bring. You are ready?
You are willing to tolerate his freaky breaking at the abolition of the company, to withstand the wave of aggression in his address, attempts to blackmail ( “I’ll be thrown out of the window if you do not give me a plate!”)? You can every night, despite the fatigue after a working day, to communicate with a teenager who communicate and did not really want to? Walking with him, to talk, to go visiting and receiving guests at home?
You’ll have to teach it again, showing all the features of our world, to build relationships. Enduring anxiety and depression – because any refusal from the usual fun at first leads to depression. Teach him to walk, play, cook food, buy food, watch the sunset, read aloud, “Three Men in a Boat”, quietly chatting in the car, singing along the old groups. Now he does not know how, in his ears headphones, hands busy on-screen buttons. Do you still remember that you can write a letter, not a print from the printer. And the game – this is when friends see each other’s eyes.
This is a normal life. If you turn off the computer.
Olga Mitina, psychologist :
Today’s children are born, grow, grow up in the world of information technology, where computers, tablets, smartphones and other smart machines – integral parts of reality. Pretend they do not exist, it is absolutely meaningless. As well as denying that owning a PC can benefit – develop memory, logic, attention. The problems start when the computer of the assistant becomes a “friend” of the child. That’s when parents start to sound the alarm.
They themselves perceive the computer as a babysitter … with artificial intelligence. In fact, the machine delegate tutor function, and then are surprised that the baby can not be torn away from the monitor. If you notice that a child is literally living in a computer, to take urgent measures. Try to show that the real world is much more interesting than virtual reality. If difficulties arise, consult a psychologist: there are special techniques that help overcome the computer and create a harmonious relationship, a relationship of trust between parents and children.