How to engage in charity and social activities, and to help others, and does not hurt? What you should pay attention to what to prepare? We offer an opinion Gezalova Alexander, 17 years old engaged in social activities in the field of social orphanhood, the author of the autobiographical book “Salt childhood” and of the last orphanage2


First of all, it is necessary to formulate the purpose – what I’m starting to do it. In advance ask yourself – it will change in my life, in the lives of my loved ones, as far as I’m ready, what motivation I have, how well I understand their place in the charity category, what I’m going to live. A lot of people out of charity precisely because they went back on emotions, without hesitation. On emotions, without a specific, normal purpose of the mission – it is useless.


Another question – if I was ready to condemn. Because there will always be disgruntled, those who will point the finger. Whatever you do, there will always be those who will bark at the caravan. Can I train to go quietly or he will stop and each dog fight?


Very important is the support group. Here is my example, the history – this is my family, my friends and social networks, through which I can act. Still very much supports the belief – I am an Orthodox Christian, and this is also trying to find some sort of balance. Perhaps only now beginning to realize that when I created a public organization “Balance”, she initially more concerned with myself. Therefore, it seems to me that a man must first create a public organization for themselves – in the best sense of the word. Self work, povolonterit with himself, well, then go to the audience, little by little. Because, for example, when a person comes to me and says: “Now I’ll do it, orphanages will not” – I immediately understood that in front of me emo volunteer, who most importantly – his emotions, who does not understand that in fact, required of him a huge, colossal work, dedication.

It is important not to have suffered similar. To do this, you need to be sure of the support of the “half” and pay attention to his family. Very often social activists destroyed a family, leaving his wife (husband), children are raised nanny, though like them in public life all right. What is the point to help strangers, if your family – fire.

In my case wife Anna fully supports me, we discuss with her everything about my social work. It stands on the position that it is important to do, it is the mission of our family.


An experience

The service in the Navy, studying at the School of Culture, where I graduated from the directing, the acting department, the work on the wedding master of ceremonies, university studies in the social worker, writer’s experience … As it turned out, all that was useful to me later in social work. One of the main skills that I have learned, – ability to communicate.


The ability to communicate, to talk, to negotiate, – all this refers to the ability to apply yourself. Many social activists believe that if they do a good job, people need to take them for what they are and speak. Many in this simply break down. It is necessary to communicate with officials, with business, with the media, with very different categories of people … The problem of public man – to bring in many ways to those on whom the aid, that the aid is necessary. So, they want to provide it. It is important not to blame them, not to try to put pressure on self-pity, and to convey his thought in terms facts, statistics. It is very much achieved in the negotiation process. “We have collected diapers, raised money for a large family car” – the tip of the iceberg, its base – it is just the implementation of various abilities and skills of public man.


The man who comes into the public space, should strive to learn more. It seems that it is enough existing education, experienced loss, or some kind of personal charisma. Constantly need to be improved. Social activists without personal growth can not normally do the trick. In this sense, even if there is a problem with paragraph 6, that is, with the ability to communicate, if you make the effort, you can get this skill. There NCO school, a variety of special projects. I am, among other things, he studied in several international programs. The main thing I took away from them – how to write a grant proposal, and it is also a skill that can not hurt.

The more people someone to prove something, the more he gets tired. He seemed to prove independently employed. That is not to seek employment, you yourself, as a good infantryman, to practice in some such the Training Camp.

If a person stops, it may be one of the factors of burnout. It does not get more knowledge, skill does not increase, does not know the new trends, not following the law, not following the appearance … The charity can not remain in the position that was 10 years ago, all you need to do differently.


The next step – designing ability. This is called social engineering, when we take the problem, study it, find ways and means to solve it, create a product – a project looking for resources, and after that connect agents of influence, begin implementation of the project, we get a result, describe, do handbook. Here is the complete cycle, which also needs to learn, and that requires a certain expenditure of energy, because every project – a design, a movement from point A to point B.

First is to do small projects, to spy some experience, learn. What is the difference between commercial and noncommercial product? For example, if the brewery released a batch of beer, and it does not matter, he just throws it. If public-made project, but he did not go, it will suffer the social customer, the cost of resources is not filled. Therefore it is very necessary calculation, understanding of public policy, the order of social customer, the resources and, consequently, the risks that may arise in the implementation of this project.

Vision problems

You can not come to the charity to save everyone. We need to see specific people, specific problems …


A life

It is important not to cease to live a full life. Often people coming to the charity, not to enjoy life, everything can only see in the charity aspect. They cease to be part of society, seeing the activity as heroism, heroism, holiness, and therefore want to sacrifice everything for the sake of it. No need to switch off from life.


It is important to distinguish between his public and private life. On social customer experience, we think, when we are with him. Houses are thinking primarily about the family and to solve their problems, not problems of other people. This is very important – to be able to dive in and out of someone else’s story. If a person does not learn from it to go, then he can become a social client.

Concentration on the task

No need to throw away. I am sure there must be some focus on the social group with which you are either faced or about which you know, or from which he came. Why is the focus? Because the problem group, which we do have a certain cycle. That is, we took the social customer, working with him, then leave him in a social elevator, and he becomes a social part of civil society. That is the task in cooperation with the social customer not to have fun and claps on the back and on the shoulder, and to bring social customer in a social reality in which he can handle himself, and we have it already will not need . If we set ourselves such a task, it will require an enormous effort, perseverance is not to leave this social customer.

Here is a simple example. Recently I was in the same institution where they told me that here was a public organization, which helped them well, they hoped it, then public organization disappeared, gone. Accordingly, care to that needed anymore. It’s talking about? The fact that respect for the client was not part of, the main guarantor of the organization. This led to the fact that the social customer lost and returned to the position from which to start. Accordingly, it is necessary to pick up and help. If we want to help all, you have to start with one. If we have learned to help one, that we had the experience of helping two of them. If we have learned to help the two of them, we can help, and seven. That is probably a way to act. Examine the experience of working with specific social customer, with its some difficulties and problems.


For example, a friend picked up on the highway girl from the orphanage, which was engaged in prostitution there. She wrote me about it the next day. If she wrote to me on the first day, then I could help her, tell what to do. And as she wrote to me on the second day, the girl, of course, ran away. So this is a lack of knowledge, lack of understanding of what to do, and only a personal vision, that here I am now take, heating, and social customer is around me gratefully ride to anything good does not.

If you lack experience, you need to contact experts to foreign experience, feel free to ask questions.


Do not wait for gratitude. Thanks – it’s all quite a dangerous thing. Official letters of thanks have to take, because they support the implementation of this or that idea. But personal gratitude – it is that the person to whom you helped, changed when he departed from the children’s home, got into the family, not sat back on the bench and so on. And the words I do not like gratitude, and even more so to expect them not worth it. Social activists doing their job, not in order to be considered a saint or continuously thanked and make the world a better place thanks to the fact that the situation of a specific person has become better.

Sincerity and honesty

An important point – how a person positions itself, presents on the social customer. The problem is that very often people do not want to seem an imperfect social customer, with some flaws. He is starting to embellish a little magnify, fib somewhere. I had had such cases when a person not having even higher education, he said that he has a higher education, and the person who does not have family, said that he has a family. Why is this done? Apparently, in order to dissociate itself from the social customer: Well, you’ve got a problem there, and I’m good, and let your problems, we will do. Anyway social client still recognizes and realizes that he lied. He will begin to close. This impurity relationship eventually leads to burnout.

Sincerity and honesty, decency in work is even more important and more important than some professional skills.

Not only money

In fact, it is a misconception that you can solve any problem with money. Money – it’s just the way it is only a means. The main thing – it’s still a man’s heart, the heart of the civilian, as I call it. Money does not help a person. A man helps a particular person.

In order to solve the problem, in my opinion, the main focus needs to be done on the Enlightenment project. Enlightenment is not enough, and it is not worth the money it costs energy, involvement and understanding, which I direct my energy to someone enlighten, explain, tell. Today, for this, including the social network.


When the result is not seen. Most people do not see results from their activities and leave the sector, considering that here I work, I work, and in the end nothing changes. In fact the presence of the process – is also a result. Because it happens that sometimes result even when life is not to see. And so the task is to do everything as much as possible, as much as possible so that the next task is already dovypolnil. To do this, you need to deal with the methodology: to publish comic books, books, writing some literature. Because it is in these, so to speak, the basic things someone to do the next step, the next breakthrough, the next leap, and so on. And perhaps over time one or the other problem will be overcome.


When in the nineties, I said that children’s homes become obsolete, all twisted at a temple. But today I see that something there could correct us, to all who work in this field. And the children’s homes are now centers of family arrangement. That is proof that move in the right direction. Or, for example, in the detention center I built a chapel. Before that – nine years trying to persuade the chiefs to build.

So the maximum achievement – it’s a dream to which you need to get him to move without fighting, but simply by living – children, relatives, friends, the outdoors, cinema, music … And do not listen to what is said on this occasion detractors.

Interview Oksana Golovko