Answer offensive words from friends, strangers and management can (and should) be different. Layfhaker gathered a few strategies that will allow you not to lose face and stop the quarrel in the bud.


1. offend

This is one of the first desires arising after insult. But back lunge is appropriate only if it:

It takes place in the circle of relatives or friends;
It relieves the tension rather than exacerbating the conflict.
In all other cases, even if you consider yourself pohlesche wit Oscar Wilde, to answer an insult to the insult – not the best solution. So you go down to the level of cad-opponent and makes it clear that his words have touched you, that is, they may be a grain of truth.

2. joked

The difference between the witty and playful response to an insult that in the second case, you make fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: an insult loses its toxicity, voltage drops , and the audience (if any) takes your side.

Also in this case you can take psevdosamounichizhitelnuyu position. So you go astray opponent confused and zamaskiruete sarcasm.

Example 1: A colleague says that you have prepared a presentation ugly.

The answer: “Perhaps you’re right. Next time I will not ask for help from his five year old son. ”

Example 2: the unfamiliar person you name-calling.

The answer: “Thank you for this very valuable information. You have opened my eyes to my shortcomings. It will be what to think at dinner. ”

3. Take

In some cases, analyze the words that seem to offend you, really worth it. Especially when they come from near and dear people you. In this case, think of their cues not as an insult but as a criticism that can make you better.

It is worth to think about the motives of people, find out what caused them to use harsh expressions. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your behavior is far from angelic.

4. Respond to the intention rather than words

Any abuse is always a hidden object. Make a secret revealed: its label.

For example, in response to the harsh words say, “Wow! Between us there was something really serious, once you have decided to hurt me. ”

So, on the one hand, you’ll be able to knock your opponent out of the rut, and on the other – to find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Save calm

If the insult is not of a loved one, and from a colleague, friend or even a stranger, never show that words have touched. Rather, for them lies uncertainty, dissatisfaction with their lives and the desire to just take it out on you. Do not let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to stick to their line: ask what it is that has caused such a human reaction, not paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best response – is its absence. If we are talking about internet trolls, you can simply do not respond to their comments or send boors in the black list . Well, the “offline mode”, you can always skip past the ears insult or leave. You have every right to do.

An example of ancient Roman history … One day in the public baths one hit Cato policy. When the offender came to apologize, Cato said: “I do not remember the impact.”

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: “You are so small, that I not only do not care about your excuses, but did not even notice the most insulting.”

7. Use Act

You can bring the offender to justice, or at least to threaten him that. Punishment for insulting spelled out in the Code of Administrative Offences [1] of the Administrative Code, Article 5.61 “Insult” , But slander is already within the scope of criminal law [2] of the Criminal Code, Article 128.1 “Slander” . In the event of abuse on the part of the chief can apply to the personnel department.

The main thing – remember that nobody has the right to encroach upon your honor, dignity and reputation. But you have to meet the same people. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.