To be honest, a perfectionist to be difficult. And energy consuming. I know these people – they endlessly seek the unattainable perfection. Because of this, they often are in dejection, often can not achieve the goals they themselves have a lot of worry, but can not understand what hinders them.
And it prevents them from perfectionism. He turned on a person whenever he wants to do something, but instead sits and thinks. He thinks so much that can not even sleep at night, trying to find the perfect solution, all to provide and consider in advance. As a result, he concludes that all options are equally bad, and it still does not work, but because there is nothing to try. As a result, the case, which required decisions not budge, and the man walks gloomy and discontented.
So, what is perfectionism, how to detect it at home, how to use its advantages, and what weaknesses perfectionist? What we actually helps to move forward, and that only interferes with and limits? Perfectionists often think that it is their forte. They are so good, correct, honest, everyone is doing very good. But they have four weaknesses, which bring them a lot of discomfort and to create a negative background of life. Here they are.
Depending on the assessment of others and constantly evaluating ourselves
As a child, we parents and teachers are constantly evaluated, and it is literally signed up with us “on the subcortex.” We automatically and constantly evaluate ourselves, other people, circumstances, situations. And more often – negative.
Perfectionists often puts themselves and others two and trying to keep everything under control. This creates a strong tension, which can be a headache, appear incomprehensible fatigue and irritation.
Excessive criticism of themselves and others
If perfectionist notices that someone is doing something wrong, it can cause him almost physical pain. One woman, after she has participated in a dispute with strangers on the Internet, the temperature has risen in the real life. Everything returned to normal only when she calmed down and “let go” situation. It’s so painful when someone makes a mistake, he hurts himself, is doing something wrong. So you want to help and suggest the correct version!
However, criticizing yourself and others, perfectionist inevitably gets a response criticism. The circle is closed, life does not look very cheerful and pleasant.
In addition, a perfectionist not only adds a fair share of negativity in your life, but also spreads it around. Constant anxiety atmosphere of fear mistakes, judgment will simply alienate from the perfectionist positive-minded and friendly people. And we get a third less – closed world.
The ban on the free development and creativity
Many people over the years can not begin to do what they like in reality, because simply can not wait for the “right moment.” When you run out of all the problems that will have a lot of spare time, when all perfectly prepared. Because such a moment never arrives.
If we are concentrating only on the perfectly correct performance of all of their affairs, then spend all their attention not on trying to make something interesting, beautiful, soul, and then to do it without mistakes. Concentrating on what to think about it, all the planning, and the actions themselves already have little strength and energy.
It happens that people who are addicted to self-development, engaged in collecting professionals, books, programs and think that will be when the 50th training of its kind, will succeed by itself. And just something new and unusual attracts attention. In fact, learning new knowledge – an endless process, and if we read a lot of things, but do not apply in real life, then simply create the illusion of activity, for which there is a fear of mistakes, and fear of going to his present important purposes. whether the time will come when all the accumulated information to be able to bring to life, no one knows.
Fatigue and stress
Perfectionists often suffer from exhaustion and burnout. As they try their best to avoid the slightest mistake, all their affairs during the day and working, and personal, they operate in a state of great tension. But it was a busy person gets tired very quickly, starts all confused, and do not forget to have time. She is afraid to make a mistake for fear of criticism and dissatisfaction with the chief, but in the end he himself has attracted criticism.
Incredibly important for perfectionists is an understanding that in a relaxed and peaceful state of all is a much better and more formed itself. When a person runs and fusses, we have to do a lot more because of the larger number of errors.
Is there any way out?
What to do with perfectionism? How do I allow myself to live more freely, relaxed, feel the joy of life?
The method is simple: each time to evaluate what you’re doing, 100 points out of 100. Say to yourself, “Now I have made 100% of what could in this situation, with this state, and at this moment.”
Every time you notice at an overwhelming desire to make everything perfect, right there, in that moment, sit down, relax and tell yourself: “I will do 100% of what I can do, and do it with pleasure, and put a” 5 “!
School days have passed, and no one except you, does not make you an estimate. People are more important than our cheerful attitude and a genuine interest in life and people than our worries and fears. Perfectionist same, refusing to do anything, it deprives the world of something good.
Allow yourself to grow and to create, and then you will no longer see things in a different light, and become an example for other people. You will be easier to keep yourself and loved ones, and you will create around themselves an entirely different atmosphere. Finally, from your sadness will be over – you become more energetic, happier and friendlier. And best of all – will be able to bring their case to the end and achieve the goals outlined.